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The Vampire Tristan

I found myself in a small outdoor bar called the Coffin Club, elegantly titled because the bar itself was ringed by a selection of coffins to be used as tables. The theme was, of course, vampires, and the young men behind the bar sported tight leather pants and appallingly bad face paint. Their faces were caked with a horrid mix of white and blue, I suppose trying to play up the corpse look that people attribute to vampires, a sort of sunken pallor that matches death.

When I sat myself at the bar, a young man clad in vampire uniform and hair spiked up, sulked up to the bar in front of me and almost draped himself over the coffin that sat between us. He slunk against the counter and gave me his best and most threatening vampire glare. I was by this point too amused to consider leaving. So, I read his tag pinned to a shimmering purple shirt and layered leather vest: Tristan. Playing his part like a dedicated method actor, staring at me with a dark glare under his hooded eyes.

I ordered what their drink list called “Vampire Martini,” which came in the most entertaining glass. The bottom of the cup contained a small light and button, which, when pressed, lit the entire glass blood red. When this Vampire Tristan gave me my drink, he leaned against the counter again, both arms spread and hips tipped to the side just so. The novelty was so impressive that I decided to play the game and I leaned forward into his space. I asked him, “are your fangs real?”

I have seen very good fang replications. I have known people who have gotten their teeth filed (which I do not recommend), teeth capped, fitted, or worn disposable fangs purchased online. Some of the fake fangs I have seen are quite convincing and do well with a normal night of wear, including talking, eating, and drinking. His looked well fitted and I had to assume therefore of a professional craft.

Instead of answering, he looked at me with the same brooding expression and replied, “Are yours?”

It never fails. This world, so diverse, that hiding has become merely standing in the open, never denying or revealing. I could answer his question with an honest and sincere “yes,” and he would not run screaming. There would be no terror, no scenes from black and white horror movies of being driven from my home by angry peasants brandishing pitchforks and torches.

I have never been hurt by humans. Those frail creatures, all of you, so divinely delicate and fascinating. It has only ever been my kind, those who see me for what I am or imagine how I must be.

Such faithless faith in human nature. Even those who say that they believe in God still rely on facts, science, and the natural world. If I were to say to someone, “I am a vampire,” they would imagine me mentally ill. Never for a second would most of them entertain the idea that I may truly be, and even those that did would discard the nagging sensation in favour of their common and so logical sense.

This is an age to enjoy.

20 thoughts on “The Vampire Tristan

  1. What did you answer to Tristan’s question?
    And do you think this “faithless faith in human nature” will continue or is it just a fashion of this era?

    1. I did not answer Tristan’s question. Some silly young people, two girls and a boy, came to the counter to enjoy the novelty and broke into our conversation. So I lingered to enjoy the scenery for a bit longer and then left. I kept the glass.

      I think we are faced with a polar world. I think on one end we will see more people become fervently religious, even back to old ways. On the other end will be people who rely on science and logic and reject all forms and implications of religion. It will be hard to find anyone who sits in the middle, with the exception of people who are “spiritually inclined doubters.”

  2. First, Marius, this story is divine. I laughed tears. I never thought that a old vamp like you, goes in such kind of bars. Was this a coincidence, or do you search for such a bar?

    I know this kind of bars or discos. I like going there and I always have lots of fun. The music is often to my taste and the people are always cordial and tolerant (for they themselves are outsiders as well). Sometimes poems are read and I like the atmosphere.
    Even the dating games are unique. It’s not “man wants woman” but “coffin wants lid”. But I don’t take part in such games. It’s not my style.
    About the makeup of the bar: they not always try to imitate vampires but everything that’s dead or evil. Zombies, demons,undead, simply corpses. Or they simply want to show of the old beauty ideal: noble pallor.
    Next time, perhaps, you should wear makeup and cool black clothes as well. I´m sure you would look adorable. Ha.
    Among many other places, I can say I like this kind of places and people. Its funny.

    By the way, what happen to Tristan? xD

    1. I did not go looking for the bar, but when it came to my attention I would not resist seeing it for myself. Very different from the vampire bars of old, certainly. Mainly in that there are very few real vampires, only the novelty of human performance. Which is in itself very wonderful.

      There was no dating game, at least not that I had the pleasure to see. Most of the people there were visiting for the amusement of it, not because it was the particular aesthetic scene they liken to. I do like the old beauty ideal, as you call it, the noble pallor.

      I don’t think I would do so well in make up, or black clothing. I would feel unquestionably silly in any event. Though I do love to be surrounded by pale and painted young men and women.

      I wonder what happened to poor Tristan. Perhaps I should have to visit the bar again soon and see how he is? And maybe then answer his question. And give him back the glass.

      1. Ha. I never saw a vamp in a goth bar in Nürnberg. If ever a vampire was in the disco I used to frequent it was at a time when I was not there. I’m 1000% sure I’d notice the presence of such a person. I’m an observer. I notice every guest no matter if I like their looks or not. I have special interest in those who only sit or stand against the wall and watch everything, those who don’t want to attract attention. 😀

        Thinking about it I remember a meeting which was really special and very amusing. It was about 8 years ago. I was in my favorite disco and a bit away from the crowd in an area in which drinks were served. I didn’t wear anything special, I hardly ever did. A normal bodice, a long skirt, my hair was pinned up in some kind of “hairdo”. My hair is like my character, quite unruly. I always look like a crazy artist. Two or three of my friends were talking and I was enjoying the atmosphere, my eyes watching the other guests. Suddenly a tall, slender man caught my attention. He was standing opposite me at the bar and was talking to another man. Both seemed to enjoy their conversation because they looked relaxed. I payed him closer attention. I didn’t stare at him all the time, just a glance every now and then. Once our eyes met. He had long dark brown hair ( I love long hair!), a sharply cut face, high cheekbones and a big mouth with thin lips. The clothes were exquisite. Elenagt and very noble. Frog coat, a pretty flouncy shirt, long slacks and a very expensive looking walking stick. But he didn’t look snobby. I’m sure not any noticed him despite the fact that he was very handsome. I didn’t have the feeling he was seeking out the spotlight either. Oh, and he was taller than me. Perhaps 1.85 m.
        I supposed he came from a bigger town for his whole habit was different from people in my area. So: There was a very handsome man just to my taste. 😀 I don’t regard myself a beauty, I’m average I’d say but I don’t see this as a curse. When someone likes me I can always be sure that it isn’t only because of my looks. But I have to admit in this moment I thought: “Lord, I wish I were beautiful and could get the attention of a guy like this just once.” (Don’t you dare telling! :p ) A little frustrated I went to the dance floor and when I returned I was secretly happy that the man was still standing at the bar. Now he was alone though. He let his eyes wander across the room without focusing, he seemed to be lost in thought. I started ponderin as well while my friends were still chatting vividly.
        When I looked up again I noticed he was glaring at me and was a bit puzzled. I didn’t show my surprise though. I even had to smile. Then a friend of mine distracted me for a moment and when I looked towards the handsome man again I realised he hadn’t stopped watching me, watching me so closely even that I thought: “He knows exactly what I think, he can read my thoughts.” When I had finished this thought he silently nodded at me. I liked this so much, it started a tickling in my body and I’m sure my face was as radiant as a thousand suns. Both of us started to laugh softly and finally I winked at him. I have no idea how I managed to stay so cool until this day for although I was really happy and fascinated I was very agitated inside. A look such as he gave me is able to make me loose my coolness. Fortunately in this moment a new song I liked very much started and I escaped to the dance floor, happy and close to a swooning at the same time. *laugh* This evening was so impressive I’ll remember it even on my deathbed. 🙂

        In a dating game you surly had to hide inside a coffin in order to hide from all the devotees… 😉 Oh I’d pay money to see that! Muwahaha.

        Ah yes of course, I do love the noble pallor as well. It have something right? Lucky me that I’m a bit pale from birth. ^.^ All women from my mother’s side are pale. It’s in the blood I guess.

        Aww my beautiful, old man, you should be open for new and unusual things!! I´m sure you would look adorbale, why not? And why should it feel silly? I guess you need just a bit time to getting used to it. It’s no need to overdo it, of course, but I think there would be cool black stuff for you. I’d love to dress you myself, put make up on you and dress your hair. Like a big, male Barbie doll. Styling others is big fun for me. ^.^

        Why do you like it to be surrounded by pale and painted men and women? I guess not all vamps feel in that way. It is a pretty modern attitude.

        Oh yes do it, visit the bar again and tell us everthing about it. I wonder how the man is behind the vampire mask. I liked his answer, I´m sure he is a nice and funny guy. Ah and dont forget the right style when you get there. 😉

        I dare to ask…HOW would you answer Tristans question? HA.

        Well, if you liked the glass so well, it is certainly not the end of the world if you keep it. Am I now suborining you to a crime you’ve already comitted? 😀

        1. Proper “goth” bars and clubs began to die in the early 1990s. The 1970s and 1980s were the true era of them, though most of the time they were fused with the punk and later death metal counter-cultures.

          How would you use your keen observation to distinguish a vampire from a pale faced human? Do you think there is something about the presence of a vampire that would make them easily determined in a crowd?

          Now that is an interesting experience. Are you shy to approach people? Next time you see a fascinating and attractive man, you must simply throw away caution and attempt conversation. Particularly when you feel so drawn to another person, and he noticed you for one reason or another. Perhaps he glared because he did not want you to think such negative thoughts about yourself? I’m certain I would do much the same.

          Men and women are drawn to my looks. I can see the way they look at me. Yet when I open my mouth many soon come to the conclusion that I am not their type. I believe it to be my general dislike of silly conversation and the intellectual nature of my interests. I cannot sit for very long and chatter on about things that care nothing for. Like popular culture. What do I care about the song playing? Or pop stars? Or movies in the theatre? I do not want to talk about the weather or how I am doing the evening. I want to talk about deeper things. This drives away people who simply like to look at me or wish for casual encounters that I do not often engage in. I demand a person be interesting and unique, not lovely to look at but insanely boring to listen to. I know in the first five minutes if I wish a person would just never speak aloud to be again, and that is that.

          Pale is beautiful, my dear, so genetics has favoured you. Aged tanned skin is so very unfortunate. And with my eyes as they are, I can see every sad line that the sun has carved into a woman’s face. It can take a beautiful young woman and age her years.

          I would have told Tristan yes, that my fangs are in fact real. I doubt he would have believed me, or thought me to be playing a game with him. At the very least, lying or in possessive of a very good pair of fake replicas that are readily available in the market these days. It is the delight of hiding in plain sight that I enjoy.

        2. Indeed, especially the 80s Gothic in pure form. I remember it well. Of course, I was a child back then but I remember the whole energy of this era.
          The 90s were cool but not as cool as the 80s. At least in my opinion. I checked out my first goth bar in 1995. What means I was 15 years old. And I fell in love with it.

          Of course I was shy back then. I was a young woman and my past was not self-awareness-promoting. On the contrary. However, now I´m much, much stronger. I can be very euphoric and passionate. My humor is a big strength of mine and I know I can make others smile or laugh. (Even Santino! 😉 ) I have no problem to say to my friends, “I like / love you”. With a man its a bit diffrent. I don’t say it as I do with friends and just to special moments. I don’t say it very often as I do with friends and just to special moments.
          Michelle and I are very close, when we meet we cuddle almost the wohle time. Michelle is a genius, I adore her. A amazing young woman. She can translate all my latin songs XDD And of course, there are vamps I adore very much and I say it. I mean, why not? I will not marry them. lol.
          However, that all doesn’t mean I can´t be shy anymore. Mostly it depends on my mood. My friends says that I’m a contradiction, a riddel. I can believe that I am a contradiction, but riddle? Hmm, I don´t know. But I know that my zodiac sign Aquarius, fits perfect for me.

          Ha. No Marius, I would never do that. I am not someone who goes to a stranger and says “hi” to him/her. In a group I usually hold myself back. I analyze people first and when I feel well I open myself to a certain point.
          About the man: call me old fashioned but there are some things which I think of as “man’s tasks” 😀 What means, the man must make the first step. When he doesn’t have the courage to speak with me he is not the right one. A buddy perhaps but nothing more. A man must have self-confidence, must be clever and wise. Of course, humor is always important.
          I am a very sensitive person, the man must be the opposite. Not a stone, of course, but strong and “cool”. If I cry because a sad or beautiful movie , my man shouldn´t do the same. *laugh* It’s ok when he is a bit macho like. But he shouldn´t overdo it. I’m difficult to tame, and I have a strong will.

          For you question, “How would you use your keen observation to distinguish a vampire from a pale faced human?”
          I wouldn’t concentrate on the paleness. Today there is so good make up, humans can make themselves look more vampiric than a real vampire I think. Besides, vampires look rather „alive“ when they have just dined, don’t they? So, paleness isn’t a good clue.
          What gives people away is often not so much what they display but what they don’t show or try to hide. What is behind the mask. I don’t claim to detect such things right away but I think I could get a quote of about 90% with a little practise.
          First of all there are the eyes. Eyes are very important for me. I can read a lot from them. They are mirrors of the soul. I love eyes, they are fantastic. I’m very sure a vampire doesn’t have oridinary eyes.
          Next there are the gestures of course. How does a person hold a glas? Do they empty the glass? How does the person sit or stand? How are the movements of the arms, the whole body language (Of course one has to pay attention to the person’s character as well)?
          How does the person talk, what words do they use? I could imagine some vampires, especially the old ones, sometimes have problems to keep up with the quickly changing every day language. It must be difficult always to be up to date with all the abbreviations and such. You only have the night, humans have also the day.
          Perhaps clothes could also serve as a cue. Which clothes have been chosen and how are they worn? What is the pullover made of, knitted by hand or from the warehouse. What brand is it? If it’s a worn out piece, how old could it be? How did man X tie his cravat and how does woman Y wear her jewelery or hold her fan? How are the bootstraps tied or do the shoes have buckles? If yes, what material are they made of? Does the clothing match the person or is it just a masquerade?
          Those are just a few examples how one can extract information about a person from their appearance. I could fill volumes with more examples. Let me mention only one more: Not a very logic method but one that works rather well for me: If all I mentioned before fails to give me an idea about a person I confide in my intuition. I’m good at empathy which also makes me a good actress. I guess I could feel if a person had something of a dark aura surrounding them, even if it would be a beaming Lestat. I would know if the person I face were not human. Sometimes I know things I shouldn’t be able to know. But I do because I feel them. Of course I cannot give you any proof but that’s not important. But I have to add that if I’m ill or in a bad mood this ability isn’t as reliable.

          I know what you mean, I’m not interested in what singer X had for lunch either and it’s so boring to complain about the weather. It’s nothing one could influence anyway. Personally, I can take to lots of things, I can also talk about movies for quite a while. But smalltalk only or the same topic all the time are dull.
          You know what your strengths and interests are and you clearly name them. With me it’s similar. I know what I can do, what I’m good at and I say so. Sometimes it’s mistaken for arrogance but many don’t realise I’m as open about my weaknesses as I’m about my strengths. I have no problem saying: “I’m not good at xxxx”, and I do so often. My health isn’t so well and in many things I’m not as quick as others. Or I say: “I don’t understand it. Could you explain again?”
          I know that I have a good knowledge of human nature. I am able to read between the lines and I know I’m good at it. I also know that I’m a cooperative person and that I’m good at explaining things in a way everybody understands them. I know I’m artistic and that I’m good at acting and dancing. I also know that I’m too honest sometimes. * laughs *
          All this doesn’t mean I am overly selfconscious, though. On the contrary, I’m often confused if someone tells me: “You’re cool, clever, great, etc.” I’m not used to that.
          So I imagine you are misunderstood sometimes. Surely you put some people off with your selfconsiousness and your education, because they think they can’t keep up with you. Your knowledge and your direct way of talking alienates people. Besides you have high standards, you’r a tall, handsome man with a great self awareness. That’s packs the wallop. 😉

          Maybe some people coming here to your wonderful place think: “I rad his great posts but I don’t dare to say something. I don’t want to bore him or go on his nerves.” Don’t forget not everybody is as old and brave as you are 😉 10 or 15 years ago I would not have had the courage to talk to you. Here you’re very polite and elegant, like a well meaning mentor but you’re also a proud man who knows what he wants and tells it. (… *rawr* )
          One example: You say you dislike silly conversation. Well, the average mortal might think: What the hell does he consider a silly conversation? Can I talk with him about movies? Can I ask him what he thinks about X although it maybe is not one of his interests?” I knew from the beginning that I’m not able to hold a candle to you, I’m too much a common girl to do so but I loved you on the forum and I said to myself: “ I don’t care, even if I should go on his nerves I’ll try and start a conversation with him. Maybe well find a nice topic. Besides, there’s always the chance to find something more interesting, even if a topic isn’t that great in the beginning.”
          This brings me to a question: Do you really know after only 5 min if a person is interesting for you? Imagine you are an average mortal and then image a fascinating man like you who you want to talk to and maybe also impress a little. It easily happens that you talk/think nonsense. Is it possible you missed chances getting to know interesting people giving up on them too quickly?

          However, long story made short: I suppose most people don’t think: “This one’s not my type.” They’re more probably insecure or don’t want to disappoint you. Even though they don’t know you. Maybe people conclude from your direct way of talking that you’re always very direct and in consequence they’re afraid to get hurt. That would make sense, would it not? 😉

          Oh, by the way, don’t worry. With me you can be as direct as you like, I’m enjoying this conversation very much and it’s fascinating- But be aware that I won’t flatter you or say “amen!” to everything you tell, just because you’re the great, aadorable vampire Marius. I’m passionate and I contradict if I’m of a different opinion. Politely, of course. If I don’t understand something you say, I’ll ask. You know “there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. Jeez, I’m soooo wise, don’t you think? * laughs* 😉

          Yes my dear, paleness is very beautiful indeed but it also has its disadvantages. One can see every little mark or scar. It’s no problem for me but everybody asks: “Good Lord, what’s happened to you?” because of minor things. Of course every blue vein on my body is visible, too, especially on places where the skin is thin. If I’m out in the sun for a longer span of time and acquire a little tan it’s no normal brown but rather a golden shade. It’s funny. ^^

          If a person would tell me their fangs are real I’d check, even if it would only be for defiance sake. This means I’d put my thumb or index finger into this person’s mouth and check if the fangs are sharp. How would you react in such a situation, Marius?

          [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.

        3. Tell me about your first experience in this goth bar when you were 15 years old. I’m certain it left some sort of impression on you.

          Michelle and you seem to be very close; I didn’t realise that the two of you were such good friends, and knowing so makes me feel even luckier to get to know the both of you. How did you two meet?

          You are an Aquarius? That is an interesting fact to know. I am a Virgo and I have been told on many occasions that I am a textbook one. I think it is because of my tendency to worry, complain, and judge people.

          We are both old fashioned in that manner, Laertis. I don’t mind a forceful woman, in some instances, but I prefer the classic, feminine ideal of a woman. I always, always, make the first move. And there is nothing at all wrong with you desiring a certain sort of man. We are all allowed to determine what is or isn’t our type of partner. I am terribly hard on other men.

          You are very correct that vampires do not have ordinary eyes. Unobservant men and women always comment on how blue mine are, or how strange and pretty they are. There is a certain luminescence to our eyes. It is also very hard to hide wisdom and age in them. Old souls are very, very easy to detect in the eyes. What about the gestures would you focus on? How are our gestures strange? And yes, I agree that language is a very good clue, especially when comfortable with a group. It takes a great toll having to measure each word before it is said. It is an awful chore.

          Clothing does both. We use it at times to hide who we are, like a costume. Wearing modern clothing is an attempt to deceive, to blend in. Yet there are always telling details. I cannot wear shirts that have cheap buttons, and I love designer labels. I love the colours red and black, and I usually only wear those particular colours with some variation of grey and white. I think when most people look at me they think I am just a well-dressed man with a lot of money and a classic style. Clothing masks and reveals. We all have a certain flair for old fashioned clothing. For some of us, it is a continued appreciation for fashions that were in fashion when we were human. Lestat wears a great deal of antique clothing, for instance, and love to fuse the modern with the old pre-Revolution France. He is truly immaculate to see. Armand, no matter what he wears, always looks like an angel from a Renaissance painting. I, however, realise the utter impracticality of togas and tunics. My Roman is more my attitude than anything visual, as should be the case with any Roman. Though I do have the hands of an Italian. They are perhaps the most expressive part of my body.

          Do you want to know what one of my biggest peeves is? To be asked, “how are you doing?” I have a dozen rude or impatient answers to that question. It is a filler and a waste of time. And ultimately, it is not asked because the person asking cares. They only feel that it is a suitable introductory line. I prefer to have the introduction of any conversation skipped. It is superficial and superfluous to a conversation. I don’t mind at all if someone sits right down and begins immediately to discuss a topic of philosophy, current events, or politics.

          I am intimidating. I don’t always mean to be. Though unlike you I have a hard time voicing my short comings in full. For every one I admit to, I have two that I keep close to my heart unsaid. Am I aware of them? Of course I am. I spend a great deal of time analysing myself, and no one is more aware of my faults than me, no matter the seemingly dense state of denial I appear to be in. I think it is due to my “overwhelming” personality that I love shy women. I truly do. It is so impossibly sweet when a woman is too shy to meet my gaze. I do always know what I want, and more than that I am not at all shy or hesitant to get what I want.

          And of course you are cool, clever, and very great. Very smart, and also wonderfully easy to talk to. You say just enough, but never too much, and never things that are dreadfully boring. You talk just enough about yourself, and always show interest in the other person.

          I want to be spoken to. No opinion is silly or irrelevant. Don’t we all have our own way of looking at the world? Even more, I like the opinions of people who have not been jaded by the world, and who have a separate range of experiences than me. I can be so painfully hyper-critical of everything because the disappointment of many centuries resides within me. I need to surround myself with optimistic, bright people sometimes to remember that there is a beautiful side to all things. I also have the most maddening tendency to over-think everything, as if all things must have a deeper purpose than thought. And sometimes this is just not so, and I must be reminded to take things as they are sometimes.

          It is without question that to avoid talking to someone “impressive” because you feel they are out of your league will result in a mutual missing of opportunities. Everyone has something to contribute to someone else’s life. I think it is a common malady of the intelligent to be very self-conscious and self-critical. Stupid, dull people rarely consider their impact or contribution because they haven’t the slightest concept that they are possible of making either. They speak endlessly without a thought as to what they are saying, and they therefore insufferably annoying. But intelligent people worry because they desire to make an impact or an impression.

          And yes, you do usually know if you like someone within minutes of meeting them. We all have to make quick judgements, after all, because time is precious. I file people almost immediately into their respective categories as either interesting or boring, intelligent or vapid, etc. Though there are many cases that I am caught by surprise, and these are always my favourite because surprise is such a wonderful feeling. There have been times when I have disregarded a person only to have them say or so something that catches me by such surprise and then captivate me entirely. Oddly enough, most of my intimate relationships begin this way.

          I do try to give everyone a chance. I never look at a person and judge them by their hair, make up, clothing, or personal tastes. I will have a conversation with anyone. Some of my best conversations have been with strangers I meet on a bench or standing outside.

          Scars are very interesting, though, because they each have their own story. It is part of the intimate, exclusive map that is a person’s unique body. I don’t have any scars to map, but I can still remember some of the ones I had. The one on my chin from when an older siblings pushed me down. The one inside of my finger where I was bitten by an animal. They each had a story. I love to find each scar on a person’s body, once we reach that stage of intimacy, and ask them about each one. And no one need feel ashamed or ugly because of them. Paleness shows how perfectly imperfect you are, and therefore perfect as you. And it goes without saying that each blue vein beneath the surface of skin is lovely, each one pumping with heat and throbbing with life.

          I suppose how I would react would depend on circumstance. Would you simply reach into my mouth and touch my teeth? I dare say I would react with considerable shock, though I don’t think you the type who would be so rudely bold. Would you ask me for permission to touch them? That too would depend on the circumstance, our relationship, and my mood, as I am a horribly moody person. I will imagine I know you just as I do now, and our relationship is exactly as it is at this moment, and I am in the same mood I am in presently. If you asked me if you could touch my teeth, I would smile and tell you that you may. And then I would watch you very closely because I am certain that I would enjoy every second of your reaction, even as mild as it may be, or as unsupervised. Because reaction is more than just in expression and limb, it is also in the way the heart beats, the skin flushes, and the breathing quickens.

        4. My first experience … Ha. That was very interesting. Daniela and Stephan, son and daughter of my mom’s colleague were real Goths and visited the clubs regularly. Back then I wore torn pants, way too bog men’s shirts, chucks and a self-pianted jacket. I always had the taste of a goth but I’ve never been in touch with them. When we visited my mom’s co-worker Daniela and Stephan were about to leave for a club. So Dany quickly put me into a velvet dress and tokk me along. In the club I was excited when I saw the skeleton in its illuminated coffin, especially because it wore a cool hat and was looking very happy. The music was strange to me, I only knew a few rock and heavy metal songs. The only negatove aspect was that the music was too loud. I’ve never been in any disco with music that loud. My ears were hurting after a very short time.

          Back then I was a person who never went anywhere on my own, I always needed someone to go with me. No matter the place. But when Dany had delivered me to the table she vanished with a handsome guy. There I was and was almos a little afraid. Not because of the gloomy atmosphere, I would have been afraid anywhere new and strange. Still, I liked the atmosphere. Everything was mystical and fascinating. Besides, I had never seen so many good looking guys on one spot. Most of them looked very vampire-like and this was definitely up my alley. The dancing style was special, too and I was as if in trance watching the dancers. From that moment on I knew this was the kind of thing I liked.

          *smilie* Michelle is really like a little sister to me. A brilliant little sister! Although we are not blood related, I couldn´t love a “real” sister more or deeper. We found each other on SR. And after only one month, I knew “She belongs to me”. I find my sister on a worldwide forum and she lives just one hour from me away. So if that was not a fate! 😀

          Yes, and a really typical Aquarius. I love my zodiac, it goes so well with me. Oh, why is that interssting?
          (For your zodiac a send you report already ^^)

          *LOL* Oh Marius my dear, I love your “I don’t mind a forceful woman, IN SOME INSTANCE,” (Would be a good slogan for a Marius T-Shirt 😀 )
          Do you think you would feel in the same way If you would be a man of the 21st Century?

          So, and you always make the first step, well that is my kind of man. Then lets see if you could impress me. Let’s assume a absolute normal situation. You would see me on street. What would you do to get my attention, and how would you manage that I don´t lose interest? Of course its difficult for you because you don´t know me well. Armand, Lestat or Santino would have better chances to seduce me, but lets give it a try.
          But a little help. Everything that has to do with food is boring. And I do not like compliments about my appearance. I wouldn´t believe you. Besides, it is not imaginative.
          I have a weakness for eyes, the right looks makes me shiver, and that is a good thing.

          Why are you terribly hard on other men?

          There surely are old fashioned habits and gestures that are hard to get rid of for many. A man goes on the left (from her point of view) when he accompanies a lady down a set of stairs. he can a) catch her if she falls and b) his fencing sword (which he wears at his right side) isn’t in the way. Not to mention the proper way of holding a glass or how to take a woman’s hand when dancing. How to perform handshakes, or if we’re talking aboutt Japanese people. how to bow correctly. An egyption, or people with know-how in general, will (almost) always enter a room with the right foot first or always have the right foot a bit before the left one when standing. Someone from rokoko times will always take a handkerchief in a certain way or keep it in his pocket.
          Someone holding a fan will surely “talk” in fan-language a little, maybe without noticing it and even though nobody understands it anymore (except such who are interested in the topic). Vampires are powerful beings and that alone gives them a certain self-confidence. Many of them would walk through a room with their head up high, just like the kings of old.

          Of course these are only a few example which may appear “strange” because they are a) unknown to many and b) old fashioned. Besides, the movements of a vampire could sometimes be un-human. This would make such gestures and habits even more surreal.

          I would like to listen to these words spoken as they would have been centuries ago. Something like that I find fascinating and I would certainly understand something. 🙂

          Your dress style sounds very elegant, stylish and beautiful. I think it fits perfectly. Is it not frustrating that you have to hide yourself very often? I mean…your true self…

          For my part, I like ties, frock coat and hats as I love corsets and dresses.
          But I put no value on designer clothing, jewelry, most expensive perfume or that stuff. That to me is pure waste of money. But I love it, to admire it on others. Still, I’m curious what kind of clothes you would choose for myself.
          I´m a tall woman with -unfortunately- very feminine attributes. I have long dark hair and colorful, bright eyes. If color, then I like strong, dark colors. No pastels, yellow, or pink. And I do not like gold jewelry or beads. So, how would you dress me?

          That is really intersting to hear!!
          I´v been told by many americans (in the area of my city is a american military base) thats the “how are you doing” is just a pharse, really just a filler. And they were all so suprised and confused when a german ask “Wie geht es dir?” (How are you?) and the german really mean it. They are really interested. My sis and I are very close and the first thing we ask when we meet/chat is “How are you?” I can only speak for myself but when I ask “How are you” I really want to know it. I’m interested in my conversation partner, besides it’s a way of showing serious politeness. At least in germany (and Japan XD). So I can understand your annoyance if these words are used without meaning them. I’d be angry and hurt as well, if someone asked me how I am and it’s only a hollow phrase. But I think it depends on the person who asks that question and what culture he/she is from. Or what do you think?
          Be assured if I were to meet you I’d ask: “Allow me to ask you about your condition. How are you dear Marius? ” I’d have an honest interest about how you are and I’d try to show you my respect by asking and hope to start a profound and challenging conversation (I have no doubt that would happen).So I hope you will be never bad with me when I start a conversation with respect. ^^

          What is that for a feeling if you intimidate someone on purpose?

          No suprise, clever and proud people often can’t admit the shortcomings. I guess many think it’s a weakness. And indeed it lowers one’s guard. It’s very difficult to stand on one’s own flaws and weaknesses, especially for a strong man who is not used to showing weakness.

          I can imagine that a reserved or shy woman gives a man a certain sense of power. And for a man who is used of power, is this certainly more than just pleasant. *rawr* Ha. That really gives you a kick, right?

          Yeah, I spend a great deal of time analyzing myself as well. Its not so easy because so many reactions or feelings depends on my mood. And sometimes I’m so terribly inconsistent. I´m a strong person and I don´t like it to be weak, but sometimes…it would be relaxing and great if I could be weak, but just from time to time. ( And I deny that I have ever said this. xD )

          Olala Marius. Armand is getting a serious rival now! *laugh* Many thanks for your compliments. You really touch me even Its a bit hard to believe – I´m simply not used to it- but I enjoy your kindness in any case. And I´m happy that you enjoy my company. That really flatters me.

          People who are hyper-critical can unsettle even me in some situations. Especially if I have to then work or live with the person for a long time.

          Actually I am a optimistic, bright person and I find the most of the time somethig beautiful. I never lose faith and I´m the person who hold the dark friends close by heat and guide them when they need light. But paradoxically, I can be just as melancholic or depressed. That can lead to cry attacks, apathetic behavior or even death wish. That is really pretty strange. I am still not able to analyze myself to 100%. *laugh* However, because I know these dark feelings, the despair and pessimism, I can always say “I understand you. Its sometimes the same for me as well.”

          I know the feeling to over-think everything, Its the same for me, but my luck is I must not be reminded to take things as they are. At a certain point I know that I have to stop. What means I have not your Problem in that case. *smilie* So if you need a “Stay cool, it is how it is, don´t ponder to much” just say it. I will beat you. *laugh*

          Oh you and Michelle gives me a hard time. >.< Looking at me by my school grades and in the opinion of my teacher, I would probably belong more to the group of people classed as not very intelligent, and I would be viewed as little more than a hopeless case. And although i know they are not absolutely wrong, I know i am not stupid. However, your standards are high and you judge quickly. So now I wonder if you would talk to me and think I was interesting if you had met me in real life without knowing me before from online talk?

          Ah yes, suprises! life is not life, without surprises… and it is not an easy task to surprise an old man, especially a man who is two thousand years old!
          Ha… well, maybe I will do it once or twice in this lifetime. it would be an amusing note in my book of life, something like : Yeah, I am cool, I surprised the vampire Marius". XD

          Would you tell me about one or two surprises that have genuinly shocked you? And from who those surprises came from?

          Indeed, it is odd but I guess a "must be"-or at leat- "should be" The special suprise is like a this special lightning, and this lightning illuminates everything and with this light one can recognize everything much clearer. The person appears to be in the right light, you see things that you normally do not see, and with this knowledge, that is very intimate, the relationship can be very intimate.
          Hmm, In the end its not really odd but a great start, a wonderful chance for a close friendship or intimate relationship, and perhaps until the very end.

          I know that sometimes it's hard to give everyone a chance and don´t judge them by the look. I dare to say I´m good with my knowledge of human nature.And normally I don't judge anybody on his/her appearance. Quite the contrary. Not so long ago I did make a mistake. A woman came to my museum. The woman's clothes were dirty and rather shabby. She was corpulent, thin hair and she had deep dark circles around her eyes. Of course, such people often come to the museum to tell me that they come from the Titanium or that there is a secret conspiracy in the universe ect. My colleague and I were prepared for the worst. The woman asked for a building that we did not know. She was not satisfied and didn't give up , but we really dont know it and we had no chance to check it out. So we could only apologize. After some time, she knew that we are not lying.
          The woman seemed to nice that we were taking her seriously and staeted to talk about the building. It didn't take long and the three of us were engaged in a conversation. A long and fascinating conversation it was. It revealed that the woman had a great sense of humour, a fat cat and was not only very educated but she also worked for the high court. she simply looked horribly that day because she wasn't feeling well.. After she had gome my first reaction was a loud : " Dammit, I should have known better. why did I have prejudices about this woman only because of the way she looked? That's not my style." I was angry with myself and it didn't help that my colleague felt the same. So I know how hard it can be to not judge people right away.

          Are your scars gone? I thought the scars you have as a mortal exist as immortal forever?

          If your siblings were still alive, and you'd meet on the street, do you think you would recognize them?

          I must say you choose elegant, stylish and sensuous words. Perhaps women are riddel to you but you know how you can impressed them. It is a pleasure to read your lines.

          Umm well Marius, I am a rather contradictory creature. So nice, polite and good I am, so bold and adventurous I can be, not malicious but bold. But often with a wink, or an innocent shine in my colorful eyes. So I hope you forgive my impertinence, and don't bite my finger off the hand because it seems I would schock you. At such a chance encounter, I would without any permission, take my finger slowly into your mouth and feel how sharp fangs now really are, You bet I would. I guess I would be a bit surprised and amused at the same time if I would slit my finger. Maybe I even fall into a hearty laugh. That would suit me.
          But of course, some reactions of mine is depending on my mood and the circumstance as well. I´m a very emotional woman. In the "right" mood you can make me blush easily and in the other "right" mood I´m so aloof that almost nothing can touch me.

          How right you are, reaction is really more than just in expression and limb. Ah and how would be my heart beat? I guess in the first second you woundn´t hear a beat. *laugh* Then, I suppose,my heartbeat would be very emotional, hard and heavy. Perhaps you know that feeling still, this hard, painfull heartbeat like you have by the first kiss, the first touch, the first love. What means my breathing quickens for sure. Perhaps just for a moment, perhaps not very fast, just a shade faster. In any case I´m sure you would feel the pure living life in me. I do not know whether you would manage that I lower my eyes, or if you would bring me to blush. But one thing is certain, you would have my full attention. *rawr*

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        5. When you go out to night venues that people frequent, do you like to dance? Or do you prefer to sit, socialise, and observe?

          I think it is natural to feel a bit of fear when thrust into the unknown, even if it is an enjoyable unknown. I find that being taken out of one’s comfort zone is as stressful as it is liberating, though ultimately we benefit ourselves, and we expand who we are when we do.

          Special dancing style? What do you mean?

          I was unaware that you and Michelle met online. You seem so close I thought your friendship must be something brought with you, not gained. But how very sweet that you met your very best friend. If anything, meeting a friend on a forum gives you an advantage. After all, you already know you have some mutual interests.

          I have heard that an Aquarius is quite good for me. You see, my type is noted for being extremely critical, worried, and nervous. We are full of negative energy that we direct to others and to the self. I know that an Aquarius has a naturally positive nature that is very soothing. Of course, my type is also terribly reserved and we have a hard time confiding our feelings to others. On the outside we appear calm, but inside we are raging with all sort of negative feelings. But the natural intuition of an Aquarius makes them able to read these unspoken feelings without needing to be told and they can therefore address all of the negativity in a way that helps take them away.

          Do you think you would feel in the same way If you would be a man of the 21st Century?

          Absolutely. Because I truly think that each person is possessed of a distinct nature, which dictates how they develop as a person. We are, of course, very much products of our environment, which can shame us to be contrary to what we are in our essential being, or it can elevate us much the same way. This is my nature, and it was only cultivated and indeed encouraged by the society that shaped me.

          Why are you terribly hard on other men?

          Because I expect them to act as a man should, and when they do not, I judge them harshly.

          There surely are old fashioned habits and gestures that are hard to get rid of for many. A man goes on the left (from her point of view) when he accompanies a lady down a set of stairs. he can a) catch her if she falls and b) his fencing sword (which he wears at his right side) isn’t in the way. Not to mention the proper way of holding a glass or how to take a woman’s hand when dancing. How to perform handshakes, or if we’re talking aboutt Japanese people. how to bow correctly. An egyption, or people with know-how in general, will (almost) always enter a room with the right foot first or always have the right foot a bit before the left one when standing. Someone from rokoko times will always take a handkerchief in a certain way or keep it in his pocket.
          Someone holding a fan will surely “talk” in fan-language a little, maybe without noticing it and even though nobody understands it anymore (except such who are interested in the topic).

          I find that being a gentleman is always in fashion, and rarely goes without appreciation. It is essential to hold open doors, pull out chairs, rise when a lady both enters and leaves the room, walk on the side of her that is facing the street, never let a woman endure insult by another man, be courteous and polite unless situation dictates one to be otherwise, display control over mouth and body, always give up a seat if a woman is to be left standing, etc. There are customs that easily lend themselves to the current age, even when considering the advent of and influence done by feminist movements throughout the world.

          Vampires are powerful beings and that alone gives them a certain self-confidence. Many of them would walk through a room with their head up high, just like the kings of old.
          Of course these are only a few example which may appear “strange” because they are a) unknown to many and b) old fashioned. Besides, the movements of a vampire could sometimes be un-human. This would make such gestures and habits even more surreal.

          Human’s have a certain way of not seeing the things they don’t want to see. Even more so, justifying things that they do see so that everything fits easily within the realm of their own individual understanding. Most find the “surreal” air about us to be enchanting and curious because it rarely occurs to them that we may be anything but strange, eccentric humans.

          I would like to listen to these words spoken as they would have been centuries ago. Something like that I find fascinating and I would certainly understand something.
          Your dress style sounds very elegant, stylish and beautiful. I think it fits perfectly. Is it not frustrating that you have to hide yourself very often? I mean…your true self…

          On the contrary, I find it quite comfortable to hide my “true” self because it is my nature, as it has always been, to give little of myself over to others. I will give my mind freely, but my heart is something that I keep locked away, and it is in my heart that my true self is found. I give it when it is earned, certainly. And of course there also arises the question of what makes up the true self of an individual. Is my true self found merely in that I am a vampire, not human? Can my true self only therefore be determined by my vampiric nature? Is everything tainted and discoloured because of it? I hope not, because there is so much more to me than my predilection for the taste of blood.

          For my part, I like ties, frock coat and hats as I love corsets and dresses.
          But I put no value on designer clothing, jewelry, most expensive perfume or that stuff. That to me is pure waste of money. But I love it, to admire it on others.

          Corsets are lovely, and I do love precious gems and jewelry, especially rubies. I also admit that I have quite an extensive collection of designer colognes. Yes, I do own a bottle of Clive Christian No. 1.

          Still, I’m curious what kind of clothes you would choose for myself.
          I´m a tall woman with -unfortunately- very feminine attributes. I have long dark hair and colorful, bright eyes. If color, then I like strong, dark colors. No pastels, yellow, or pink. And I do not like gold jewelry or beads. So, how would you dress me?

          I have a preference for old fashioned cuts and fabrics. I assure you I dislike pastels, both yellow and pink, as well as neon hues. I like dark and bold colours, much like you prefer. What better colours to accentuate pale skin and dark hair? There needs to be such contrast that the skin is allowed to radiate. Elegance is so simple. I would choose something like this:
          http://www.enigmafashions.com/pages/apparitions/pandora/pandora.html

          White is so innocent, but I think such a fashion would be just as suitable in black. It would depend on my mood, of course.

          Or perhaps this dress in red: http://romanticthreads.com/gomerefafase.html. I think that people over look the elegance of a cape.

          A good gown is also always a favourite of mine: http://romanticthreads.com/govirestsetw.html.

          Lastly, if I were in such a mood, I would make you cute for my enjoyment: http://www.polyvore.com/lolita_victorian_pinafore_dress/thing?id=5124012.

          I have such particular tastes that it is essential I have influence over a woman’s wardrobe and all decisions made concerning hair and makeup. But this should come as no surprise. I’ve little concern for what people consider modern or fashionable, or that people may find my tastes to be a bit “too much” or outdated, or even too extravagant for daily wear. Dress not to please others, but me, that is what I say.

          But I think it depends on the person who asks that question and what culture he/she is from. Or what do you think?

          I think my issue with it comes when people ask only as a precursor, though without any actual interest in how I am doing. If all someone wants is a “fine, you?” then they would be better off if they do not ask me to begin with. If someone were to ask me how I am and want an honest answer, I think at first I would be confused because I have a certain self-restraint that makes me baulk at anything that requires I dig a bit deeply inside of myself and share it with others. I would likely give an impossibly common, “fine, thank you” and marvel on the inside.

          What is that for a feeling if you intimidate someone on purpose?

          I am sure you have met people in your life that you feel need to be, as they say, put in their rightful place. I haven’t a problem doing so.

          I can imagine that a reserved or shy woman gives a man a certain sense of power. And for a man who is used of power, is this certainly more than just pleasant. *rawr* Ha. That really gives you a kick, right?

          Power is, for some, one of the greatest aphrodisiacs. At the same time, innocence has such an immense appeal because innocence is truly lost in me, and through the shyness or reservation of a delicate woman, I can recapture some of what is so firmly and irrevocably lost. It’s like tasting something you love but haven’t had the luxury of enjoying in a very long time. It is like tasting one of the most exquisite things in the world that you can never have, but hunger for every day.

          It’s so sweet.

          It is also one of my greatest pleasures to investigate the intricate depths of shyness, and begin pushing at its boundaries. Peeling a woman away layer by layer and exposing her slowly. I do like the blush, the hesitation, and the final giving in.

          Everyone has their inconsistencies. Even the sweetest person can be grumpy. Even the most quiet person can, from time to time, come out of their shell. Even the most serious person can be playful in the right time and for the right person. Self-analysation is wonderful, but only as long as a person is not too hypercritical. Never good to misrepresent the proportion or importance of our faults.

          Everyone is allowed the luxury of weakness from time to time. No one can be strong all of the time.

          I hate to hear that you suffer such dark thoughts, even if only on occasion. I hate to sound so flippant and simply agree that, yes, everyone suffers dark thoughts now and then because it mitigates you as an individual and disorients your importance as simply “you.” Never doubt when I say that you matter to me, and that your feelings matter. For that reason, your feelings are always of interest to me. And that is why I mean it when I say to you now that if ever you are suffering dark thoughts, you are welcome to talk to me about them. I am certain that you have others you can turn to first, wonderfully young woman like Michelle, but just the same I will never turn you away should you need someone to listen.

          So now I wonder if you would talk to me and think I was interesting if you had met me in real life without knowing me before from online talk?

          Something you must know about me is that there is not a single person I would find unworthy of a word with. I give anyone who wishes to speak a chance, and my open mind, and in that way I am able to appreciate people for what it is they have of value, not how they match some preconceived notion of mine or some rather elevated expectation for them.

          I am also very good at reading people. You see, though I may not be blessed with intuition of emotion and must rely on invasive measure, the old head probe, I am very good at reading people. Call it the final result of a great many centuries spent being overly critical and suspicious of people.

          If I had met you on a street rather than online, I have no doubt we would have spoken.

          Would you tell me about one or two surprises that have genuinly shocked you? And from who those surprises came from?

          Perhaps I should. They would make for amusing stories, if anything.

          Are your scars gone? I thought the scars you have as a mortal exist as immortal forever?

          Scars linger for a long time on immortal flesh. For centuries. That was why I have always taken great care to get rid of them before I turn someone. Yet the immortal body is one of perfection, and it eats away at those scars little by little. This is not for the best at all, and perfection comes at quite a cost. My skin is so very different from yours. My skin is hard and smooth and cold, and without blemish. After two thousand years, no scars can endure.

          If your siblings were still alive, and you’d meet on the street, do you think you would recognize them?

          I remember them as clearly as if I had only just looked away from them seconds ago. I favour my mother in my light features and height, and they were more like my father. I think I outgrew my father in height by the time I was 15. My youngest sister had a birthmark on her back. She was my very favourite because she was the funniest person I have ever known. My oldest brother had the same long nose as me. My other sister shared with me the same very prominent cupid’s bow of the upper lip. I miss them.

          So I hope you forgive my impertinence, and don’t bite my finger off the hand because it seems I would schock you. At such a chance encounter, I would without any permission, take my finger slowly into your mouth and feel how sharp fangs now really are, You bet I would. I guess I would be a bit surprised and amused at the same time if I would slit my finger. Maybe I even fall into a hearty laugh. That would suit me.

          Though I quite believe my surprise would be palpable, though without offense. I don’t often find my mouth invaded by the innocent fingers of the curiously probing. I dare say your suspicions would be confirmed, no small victory, and your fingers withdrawn safely intact.

          How right you are, reaction is really more than just in expression and limb. Ah and how would be my heart beat? I guess in the first second you woundn´t hear a beat. *laugh* Then, I suppose,my heartbeat would be very emotional, hard and heavy. Perhaps you know that feeling still, this hard, painfull heartbeat like you have by the first kiss, the first touch, the first love. What means my breathing quickens for sure. Perhaps just for a moment, perhaps not very fast, just a shade faster. In any case I´m sure you would feel the pure living life in me. I do not know whether you would manage that I lower my eyes, or if you would bring me to blush. But one thing is certain, you would have my full attention. *rawr*

          As it would happen, I love the thrill that comes each time something new happens. I know very well what that quickening feels like. People say that excitement and nervousness are the same feeling, but only our mental perception of how the event differs changes whether we perceive the event to be bad or good. I have often that fear and passion are the same, and they rouse the same fast heartbeat, quickening breath, and alertness to all of our senses. Which is why both must be appreciated. So I would hope you would at least enjoy the fear. If fear is what it actually is.

  3. You’ve hit the nail on the head, Marius. The simple fact is that few people truly see. Rather we rely on others, in particular, science and the media to tell us what to believe.

    It is human nature, I think, to want to believe that all is right and normal with the world. That we are safe and there is nothing to fear. Humans in this age are children, innocents trained to think the best of everyone. How many times has a woman been raped, a man mugged because the ignored instinct and chose instead to be polite?

    If Tristan noticed anything odd about you it was instantly buried. School told him vampires are myth. So he ignored what was plainly in front of him.

    But what happens if one day science proves the existence of vampires?

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    1. Still, how sweet that sort of ignorance or naivety must be. How trusting it seems. I do not mean the sort that brings one to harm, but to live in the sort of state where one may believe that the world is exactly as it is presented.

      What happens in science proves vampires exist? Then we must all hide ourselves with greater caution. Can you imagine the witch hunt? Vampires eradicated out of fear, as humans fear anything with power, especially when that fear seems limitless or beyond human ability to control. Vampires would be used for scientific purposes. There would be no disease that could go uncured. Humans would excel at all things. I also dare say that a lot of humans would crave immortality, especially the rich and powerful. Humans and humanity would be crushed under the desires of the greedy and power hungry. Eventually, humans would be the subservient group and vampires would have ultimate control.

      1. Oh to have such innocence! I lost such trust a long time ago. Due to various circumstances I became cold and suspicious of everyone. It’s a terrible thing to suffer, especially when one is young.

        Innocence of that sort, once lost can never be regained can it. Though one can learn to love again, and trust again, there is a part that remains forever after guarded. (sigh)

        But you are correct. It would be a modern day witch hunt with all the means and technology which today’s Dr. Frankensteins could muster.

        But do you really think that vampires would rise to take power over humanity? If that were the case wouldn’t we have done do already? I’m sure there have been vampires who have dreamt of subjugating man kind. Turning them into little more than cattle. And yet I wonder, why hasn’t it happened (not that I want it to! Don’t read this the wrong way) it must be our solitary natures, are difficulty in joining together in large groups for lengths.

        I, for one, would stand up against any such individual. Vampires are not a natural part of the world and as such should seek to interfere with the fate of human events as little as possible.

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        1. Unfortunately, you are correct: innocence can only be lost once, and once it is lost it is gone forever. The ability to guard that is gained is both a blessing and a curse. It shields us from the many inevitable pains of the world, yet it closes us off to a certain vulnerability that brings with it the promise of innocence reborn. For some reason, we are lost in the center of an emotional circle, resisting the thing that hurt us, and for this reason losing in the process.

          I do not think that vampires would, but that we could if we had to.

          Let me try to make actual sense and not talk you in strange ambling circles.

          Why have vampires not sought to subjugate humanity already? Because we do not want to, and we do not need to. We are content to exist in the unknown fringe of the world, always watching. Ultimately, too many of us are still human in our hearts, and so we feel a certain kinship with all those delicate, imperfect humans, and don’t we also love them for all their mistakes and their very temporary presences? I am certain there are vampires who have felt humans to be nothing more than cattle to feed upon, and would seek to dominate them. Is this not what Akasha had wanted for man (not woman)? I have personally met a goodly number of vampires who wanted to subjugate humans. Let me assure you that I destroy them. You are right to say that we have no right to interfere in human fate, and must let them live.

          But if humans were to truly threaten our existence and we had to fight back? They would stand no chance, even with their modern weapons. They could capture and kill the young and weak, yes, or those who have not cultivated their powers, of which there are many. But those of us who are old? Powerful? No. Even in day time when I am most vulnerable, I am confident in my ability to outwit or defend myself against any human, singular or in mass. But it would break my heart.

  4. Both. I love to dance and I love to observe. How about you? It´s obvious that you sit, socialise, and observe, but do you enjoy to dance?

    I find that being taken out of one’s comfort zone is as stressful as it is liberating, though ultimately we benefit ourselves, and we expand who we are when we do

    True, you are right, but back then and as a teenager it was not really liberating for me. ^^ It was a great evening and I love it but It would have been nice if I had not been alone.

    The Goth dancing style is different from others. At least in Germany and France XD I guess in UK it’s the same. You can say there are 2 or 3 styles. But I can´t describe it well. Guess you must see it.

    I was unaware that you and Michelle met online.

    Yes I never thought that I could find a “real” friend in the I-net. I never searched for friendship in that way but BOOM, I get her. ^^ It was the same with my best friend. It was first a letter friendship, after some time you can say we fell in love. It is so sad that we can´t talk right know.
    Indeed, and after some time we found out that we have many things in common and that we have lots of mutual interests. ^^ Besides we complement each other very well.

    I have heard that an Aquarius is quite good for me…

    Oh, it all seems so familiar. XD Most of my (old) friends are/ were similar to you. You can be so difficult and tiring, but the effort is worth it. And yes indeed, Aquarius and Virgo match each other. It’s like a supplement. So, should you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here for you. ^^ Note: For vamp stuff, I´m always on Armand’s side. 😉 😉

    Because I expect them to act as a man should, and when they do not, I judge them harshly.

    *laugh* So it´s not an easy task to impress you and get you as a lover when you are a man.
    Aren’t there several ways for a man to act right? Besides, not every woman falls for perfect, educated gentlemen.

    I find that being a gentleman is always in fashion, and rarely goes without appreciation. It is essential to hold open doors, pull out chairs, rise when a lady both enters and leaves the room, walk on the side of her that is facing the street, never let a woman endure insult by another man, be courteous and polite unless situation dictates one to be otherwise, display control over mouth and body, always give up a seat if a woman is to be left standing, etc. There are customs that easily lend themselves to the current age, even when considering the advent of and influence done by feminist movements throughout the world.

    Granted, it sounds very nice and it would please me. ^///^
    However, in Japan it is the custom that the man enters the room first and the lady cannot expect that he holds the door open for her. She enters the room after the man. As a Western woman this doesn’t seem very elegant for me but in Japan that’s normal and not considered unpolite.

    When I was in Tokio for the first time my friend and me got to know two men who had made each others acquaintance only shortly as well. Morgan was from Australia and Masa-san from Yokohama. Both were managers of big computer companies and I suppose they met each other on a meeting. It was obvious those men were smart and leader personalities. Masa-san was a reserved but very proud man with the politeness natural to Japanese people. Morgan was more open. Australians always have a smile on their faces, a sunny mind and are really cuddle-some. I never met a true gentleman before, I though this was an extinct species. ^^ Until I met Morgan. He was the perfect gentleman, very educated, elegant, polite, never intrusive and he had style. But actually I wanted to talk about Masa-san.

    He invited us to a very noble restaurant in Shibuya. We went up with an elevator. Masa-san entered the elevator first but Morgan waited until my friend and I had entered. When we entered the restaurant, Masa-san was first, too. Only when it was time to sit down he let my friend take a seat first so she could sit next to the window. I took the window seat next to Morgan. Masa-san asked what we would like to eat but he didn’t really care about our wishes. He ordered what he tought best. We would have loved to have sushi but no, the guy decided he knew what was best for us and I wanted to kill him for that. Not only that I thought it to be insolent that someone else , no matter if man or woman, decides for me, he also made the wrong decision. As far as I could understand the food was very expensive and very delicious…but… it was meat. Usually I don’t eat meat, especially not when it’s swimming in a fatty sauce. The smell of the dish alone wasn’t very appealing. I had to pull myself together to not get sick. Even though I thought it was impolite of me I couldn’t eat much. I love Japanese people but that was a no-go. :p

    Human’s have a certain way of not seeing the things they don’t want to see. Even more so, justifying things that they do see so that everything fits easily within the realm of their own individual understanding. Most find the “surreal” air about us to be enchanting and curious because it rarely occurs to them that we may be anything but strange, eccentric humans

    Yes, true, and I´m sure that this happens to me from time to time as well. But normally I´m an attentive person and open for strange things.

    Understandable. I´m sure I would find the “surreal” air about you enchanting as well, or at least interesting. If I wouldn´t go to the vamp and put my finger in his mouth 😉 I would observe him/her with some kind of seriousness. Observing and analyzing is a hobby of mine anyway.

    The Vampire stuff is a big part of you, certainly, but I would not say it’s your true self. So I have the same opinion as you. Does none of your students have a suspicion that you might be not “normal”?. Of course you can manipulate their minds but that doesn’t mean that a person can´t have an clue.

    I don´t know how I would feel or act as a vamp in that kind of matter. But I guess in the the same like now, we all wear masques and If I want it or not I was always an outsider anyway. Many sides of you are hidden and I think to hide the vamp side is not that terrible. I think only Lestat has a problem with that.

    However, even if I don´t want to be immortal so I got 2 theoretical vamp daddys already. XD Any guesses who that could be?

    Clive Christian No. 1? Wow, that’s great…I guess…if I only knew what it is…designer colognes…so this a very special sentence.
    Well, I have a rare figure of Sephiroth and the super special edition of Xenosaga. 😛 Much more cooler than a boring perfume. Awww don´t be bad with me, I´m just teasing you…even if we both know I´m right. ^^

    I have a preference for old fashioned cuts and fabrics. I assure you I dislike pastels, both yellow and pink, as well as neon hues. I like dark and bold colours, much like you prefer. What better colours to accentuate pale skin and dark hair? There needs to be such contrast that the skin is allowed to radiate. Elegance is so simple

    O.O That’s a little scary that you get my taste that fast. I love it and so I allow you to dress me in the first 3 dresses.

    I would love it in white and black. Absolutely adorable, it has something angel or elf like about it.
    A cape is always beautiful and the dresses are really great!

    *laugh *…you know Marius…NOT even in your dreams …

    Lastly, if I were in such a mood, I would make you cute for my enjoyment: http://www.polyvore.com/lolita_victorian_pinafore_dress/thing?id=5124012.

    ..I wear THAT! Besides, I wouldn´t do always something for your enjoyment and there is no way you can force me to do it. …Except, of course, you would hurt me! But even then I can be very stubborn. Hehe.

    And for a normal,relaxed day this one please:
    http://romanticthreads.com/naclfitandfl.html
    With the boots, I love boots. 🙂

    I have such particular tastes that it is essential I have influence over a woman’s wardrobe and all decisions made concerning hair and makeup. But this should come as no surprise. I’ve little concern for what people consider modern or fashionable, or that people may find my tastes to be a bit “too much” or outdated, or even too extravagant for daily wear.

    I have no problem to take help when it comes to my wardrobe but in the end the decision is mine.

    My hair? Good luck with that. Not even a hairdresser can handle my hair.
    Make-up? I don´t wear make up!! But I would allow you to give me some advices for the evening. I´m not very good with that. Except when it comes to Goth make up. That’s pretty easy.

    Of course, the dresses are nothing for the every day life. But beautiful for a nice evening.

    Dress not to please others, but me, that is what I say.

    *laugh * Oh I love that!!! *rawr* What would I respond? Hmm…yes, I know.
    Yyeeesss maasstteerr, aaasssss yoouuu wiiiish my maasstteerr…. * Igore voice* Any other wishes my maaasstteerrr? I only live to serve and please you! :p

    One is for sure, we would have some fights.

    I think my issue with it comes when people ask only as a precursor, though without any actual interest in how I am doing. If all someone wants is a “fine, you?” then they would be better off if they do not ask me to begin with. If someone were to ask me how I am and want an honest answer, I think at first I would be confused because I have a certain self-restraint that makes me baulk at anything that requires I dig a bit deeply inside of myself and share it with others. I would likely give an impossibly common, “fine, thank you” and marvel on the inside.

    Yes, understandable.

    So that means I would confuse you. Ha. Oh I like that idea. In any case, sooner or later I would manage it that you would – more or less- open yourself. I have a talent for that.

    I am sure you have met people in your life that you feel need to be, as they say, put in their rightful place. I haven’t a problem doing so

    That´s not really an answer to my question, my dear. How does it feels like? I never intimidate someone on purpose, so I can´t know it. Please describe it for me.

    Power is, for some, one of the greatest aphrodisiacs.

    And you are one of the “some”. ^^

    At the same time, innocence has such an immense appeal because innocence is truly lost in me, and through the shyness or reservation of a delicate woman, I can recapture some of what is so firmly and irrevocably lost. It’s like tasting something you love but haven’t had the luxury of enjoying in a very long time. It is like tasting one of the most exquisite things in the world that you can never have, but hunger for every day.It’s so sweet.

    Yes I understand you very well. I guess I would feel the same if I would be a vamp or someone who lost innocence entirely. And again…sometimes I feel like a dessert when I speak with a vampire. I wonder why…

    It is also one of my greatest pleasures to investigate the intricate depths of shyness, and begin pushing at its boundaries. Peeling a woman away layer by layer and exposing her slowly. I do like the blush, the hesitation, and the final giving in.

    From this point of view its sounds delicious indeed. And some who “love” the innocence want to embrace it, others want control or destroy the it. You, of course, are more the “embrace it -type” ^.^
    Well as I said, I can be shy and yes of course I can blush and be unsure but I wouldn´t say that is my whole essence. In the end, I´m interdependent, I have life experience and I´m a stubborn fighter. 😀 I´m a strong person and I can play it when I´m not. But of course, I think there are some vamps who can make me blush or nervous, but not because of the vampire thing.

    Self-analysation is wonderful, but only as long as a person is not too hypercritical. Never good to misrepresent the proportion or importance of our faults.

    Yes true. I, for myself don´t think I´m hypercritical, besides it depends on the subject. Others say sometimes I´m too hypercritical with myself, but I think no that´s not true. I have my faults an weaknesses and that sucks, or is not the best at least. Of course anyone has weaknesses but that doesn’t mean that I must like it. 😀 And when I have my dark moods then it has most of the time nothing to do with my weaknesses.

    Everyone is allowed the luxury of weakness from time to time. No one can be strong all of the time.

    I cannot allow myself to be weak, but I could wish for it. =^.^= Just for a little while, I´m not one who wants to be protected all the time, that would drive me mad but from time to time it would be nice. I really wonder how that feels like… XD No matter, right now I have not soooo many problems. Just evil neighbors for example. :p But it could be so much worse. My life now is so much better than some years ago. My work is safe and wonderful. Guess that’s why my sickness is nice to me right now. I do not have so much stress and even though some colleagues are cocky or meanies , they are still ok.
    In 9 months my boss retires and I hope his successor will be nice. The new boss has lots to do. The museum and the city archives must be handled. Of course you have to be a historian. Cross the fingers for me that I get a good boss, yeah?
    My current boss can be very mean and dehumanizing but he is almost always nice to me. He can have a good humor and he taught me a few things about history. He really has a brain and he sees me as a worthy conversational partner. It´s inserting what he knows. Thanks to him I got the job. He likes me, and of course as a dirty old man he likes my body as well. :p

    I hate to hear that you suffer such dark thoughts, even if only on occasion. I hate to sound so flippant and simply agree that, yes, everyone suffers dark thoughts now and then because it mitigates you as an individual and disorients your importance as simply “you.” Never doubt when I say that you matter to me, and that your feelings matter. For that reason, your feelings are always of interest to me. And that is why I mean it when I say to you now that if ever you are suffering dark thoughts, you are welcome to talk to me about them. I am certain that you have others you can turn to first, wonderfully young woman like Michelle, but just the same I will never turn you away should you need someone to listen.

    *blush* Yikes, now I’m a little overwhelmed by so much friendliness. Normally I’m the caring one, the counselor, the listener, the mentor. That’s so strange and rare that someone says that to me. XDDD
    Are you disappointed by me, are you mad at me when I say I doubt it a bit and it’s hard to take such an offer? Please don´t be bad with me, it´s just…strange.

    In such dark moments, actually, nobody can help me. And normally people do not know that I have such moments. I must admit, I don´t know why I mentioned it here. Perhaps because I feel comfortable in your presence.
    Of course, since I spend a lot of time on the forum it cannot be avoided that I said once or twice: “Time out, please, I’m feeling very bad” or I even went into detail for a short time. Others might see it differently, but I think it would be inappropriate to say more on a forum and, besides, I don´t want to get on the nerves of others and nobody could help me anyway.

    Of course some of my dark moments I have because of my past. My best friend, my dear sis Michelle and another friend (whom I rarely see,) know more about me. That´s it. At the moment I can´t speak with my best friend and the other one but Michelle is here for me. 🙂
    Oh yes, there is one vampire how knows a tiny bit more. Even when I´m sometimes a bit odd and strange, I had always the feeling that she really likes me. I was in the „right“ mood, we talked quite a while, in private of course, and so one gets closer to one another and I know she would never break her promise and tell someone about it. I told here that there a 2 vamps I would trust more simply because I think they have more deepness and, above all, some experience to understand me a bit. Hmm, perhaps now there are 3 vamps. And perhaps one day I will take your offer. Grazie!

    Something you must know about me is that there is not a single person I would find unworthy of a word with….

    Wow, impressive. I think there is no answer, or attitude that is better. My respect, it is a pleasure and honor to know you, thank you.

    As for me, I can assure you, the very reason that you love history, is enough for me to “check you out” 😉 And I really wish I had such a teacher like you in school. ^.^

    Perhaps I should. They would make for amusing stories, if anything.

    Yes you really should, go on!! Go on! I am your faithful listener.

    Hmm no scars anymore…of course a marble statue has something very adorable about it but a life without scars…scars can be so beautiful and say much about a person.

    I remember them as clearly as if I had only just looked away from them seconds ago.

    Fascinating. And that over 2000 years. So feelings are stronger than everything. Or do you think you would remember them so well just with your brain?

    Hmm, how can you stand the loss, the loss of so many you loved ones?
    I don´t think I could handle that. I would miss them too strongly. I´m to emotional for that. I mean, I would miss my friends, even you, in the moment of my death already. XD One reason I couldn´t be a “good” vamp. XDDD Besides my vamp daddy would have nothing but trouble with me. * laugh*

    Though I quite believe my surprise would be palpable, though without offense. I don’t often find my mouth invaded by the innocent fingers of the curiously probing. I dare say your suspicions would be confirmed, no small victory, and your fingers withdrawn safely intact.

    Hehe.
    Innocent hmn? Ja I guess I´m very innocent, almost angel like.

    Always such a gentleman. I wonder what I must do to get some rage or at least fire in you- However, good to know, so I can continue drawing.

    As it would happen, I love the thrill that comes each time something new happens. I know very well what that quickening feels like. People say that excitement and nervousness are the same feeling, but only our mental perception of how the event differs changes whether we perceive the event to be bad or good. I have often that fear and passion are the same, and they rouse the same fast heartbeat, quickening breath, and alertness to all of our senses. Which is why both must be appreciated. So I would hope you would at least enjoy the fear. If fear is what it actually is.

    I know how mortal fear feels like, I know how big panic, deadly terror feels like ect. So I must admit I´m not quite sure about this, but I think the essence is true. One reason alone is the adrenalin, of course. And yes, it depends on the situation and on the person(s) as well. However, there are certain fears who are appreciated, at least sometimes, with the right person and in the right mood. And of course in the right situation as well. For example, someone who hates parachuting but still does it because the fear gives him the kick.

    Ah and of course, because we all here are vamp fans, I´m sure there are many mortals out there who would love to have a vamp in their bed or be hunted by a vamp. At least in the fantasy, I dunno if they would enjoy it if it would really happen. Depends on the person and the vamp I guess. What do you think?
    In our case, I guess it would be my cup of tea and I would enjoy it, no matter how it’s called. ^^

    That’s what I was thinking when I read your lines.This pic was gift for a vamp from me:

    http://www.gizmoitsolutions.com/laertis/details.php?image_id=312

    1. I love to dance and I love to observe. How about you? It´s obvious that you sit, socialise, and observe, but do you enjoy to dance?

      It depends on the type of dancing. I quite like ballroom dancing.

      Yes I never thought that I could find a “real” friend in the I-net. I never searched for friendship in that way but BOOM, I get her. ^^ It was the same with my best friend. It was first a letter friendship, after some time you can say we fell in love. It is so sad that we can´t talk right know.

      Internet friends are as real and valuable as “real life” friends, and I feel just as real, too. The internet makes it easier to connect with people who are like minded, and miles are gaps easily bridged. The world is smaller. Though having someone around in person is a necessary comfort, I think.

      Note: For vamp stuff, I´m always on Armand’s side.

      But of course, and as well you should be. Armand inspires such wonderful loyalty in others, and devotion need be consistent or else it is worth nothing. I need only one person on my side, which I have, and always will. The whole world could be against me but her and I would be satisfied.

      *laugh* So it´s not an easy task to impress you and get you as a lover when you are a man.
      Aren’t there several ways for a man to act right? Besides, not every woman falls for perfect, educated gentlemen.

      Always hard to impress and not at all charmed by superficiality. I have always demanded that there be substance.

      There are many ways for men to be, and women, and we each dictate our expectations and what it is we like. Any woman who is not charmed by an educated gentleman is not the sort of woman I would want to make intimate company with, because only a true lady can appreciate a true gentleman. It is like fine wine. Only a certain sort of person can truly appreciate and savour the flavour of an expensive wine, and it requires a refined palette, whereas mostly anyone can appreciate and enjoy cola. They are not mutually exclusive by any means, but not everyone has the taste for finer things.

      He invited us to a very noble restaurant in Shibuya. We went up with an elevator. Masa-san entered the elevator first but Morgan waited until my friend and I had entered. When we entered the restaurant, Masa-san was first, too. Only when it was time to sit down he let my friend take a seat first so she could sit next to the window. I took the window seat next to Morgan. Masa-san asked what we would like to eat but he didn’t really care about our wishes. He ordered what he tought best. We would have loved to have sushi but no, the guy decided he knew what was best for us and I wanted to kill him for that. Not only that I thought it to be insolent that someone else , no matter if man or woman, decides for me, he also made the wrong decision. As far as I could understand the food was very expensive and very delicious…but… it was meat. Usually I don’t eat meat, especially not when it’s swimming in a fatty sauce. The smell of the dish alone wasn’t very appealing. I had to pull myself together to not get sick. Even though I thought it was impolite of me I couldn’t eat much. I love Japanese people but that was a no-go.

      His intentions were well meant, but it seems there was a general East versus West culture clash going on. He was behaving as a Japanese man should to women, and you were judging him by your own Western standards. As the gentleman in the company of women, I think he should have deferred to your custom as patriarchy is rather smothering and a gentleman should acknowledge a woman for being independent and intelligent.

      The Vampire stuff is a big part of you, certainly, but I would not say it’s your true self. So I have the same opinion as you. Does none of your students have a suspicion that you might be not “normal”?. Of course you can manipulate their minds but that doesn’t mean that a person can´t have an clue.

      They are used to strange and seemingly eccentric professors, as every university is full of them.

      However, even if I don´t want to be immortal so I got 2 theoretical vamp daddys already. XD Any guesses who that could be?

      Let me take a guess. Could it be Santino and Armand?

      ..I wear THAT! Besides, I wouldn´t do always something for your enjoyment and there is no way you can force me to do it. …Except, of course, you would hurt me! But even then I can be very stubborn. Hehe.

      I would never hurt someone to get what I want, at least not the matter of evening wear. Choose all battles wisely, and know what is worth a fight.

      And for a normal,relaxed day this one please: http://romanticthreads.com/naclfitandfl.html
      With the boots, I love boots.

      A very lovely selection, and yes with boots. I quite like boots myself. They make for a lovely image.

      My hair? Good luck with that. Not even a hairdresser can handle my hair.
      Make-up? I don´t wear make up!! But I would allow you to give me some advices for the evening. I´m not very good with that. Except when it comes to Goth make up. That’s pretty easy.

      I had a fleeting relationship with a woman who did hair and make up professionally, so it was inevitable through listening and observing her that I learned methods. I would love to watch her put on make up. There was something so sensual about the slow gliding of hands and brushes, and the way she transformed herself. Of course, she was just as lovely absent of all make up and without perfect hair, but I did love watching her work.

      *laugh * Oh I love that!!! *rawr* What would I respond? Hmm…yes, I know.
      Yyeeesss maasstteerr, aaasssss yoouuu wiiiish my maasstteerr…. * Igore voice* Any other wishes my maaasstteerrr? I only live to serve and please you! :p

      I am certain you would easily dismiss my advice, though I hope some suggestions may influence.

      That´s not really an answer to my question, my dear. How does it feels like? I never intimidate someone on purpose, so I can´t know it. Please describe it for me.

      It is satisfying, though it does not make me feel powerful or superior. It makes me feel calmer and better, and with the hope that I may never suffer the same frustration at the hands of the same person again. But there is a different form of intimidation that comes in an intimate setting. Certain types of women like to be intimidated and overpowered, and like that someone has power over them. This brings me immense pleasure to do, though I do it kindly and always with their pleasure in mind.

      But of course, I think there are some vamps who can make me blush or nervous, but not because of the vampire thing.

      There are always those special few who can undo us all. Even I have those one or two who can make something inside of me flutter wonderfully. I wouldn’t call myself blushing or nervous by any means, as these are things women experience, but I do get that light feeling in my stomach once in a while.

      In 9 months my boss retires and I hope his successor will be nice. The new boss has lots to do. The museum and the city archives must be handled. Of course you have to be a historian. Cross the fingers for me that I get a good boss, yeah?
      My current boss can be very mean and dehumanizing but he is almost always nice to me. He can have a good humor and he taught me a few things about history. He really has a brain and he sees me as a worthy conversational partner. It´s inserting what he knows. Thanks to him I got the job. He likes me, and of course as a dirty old man he likes my body as well.

      I will keep my fingers firmly crossed for you. I have quite a few friends who work in museums, and overall they seem to feel that their bosses are stupid and inept. So you are a bit more fortunate than most that your boss is usually nice and also an historian. Most museum bosses get their qualifications in the subject of “public history,” which is different from the history that I specialise in. I think a good historian should be a mixture of both. Here’s to another great boss for you.

      How terrible, though, that you have to be objectified even in a professional environment. Your boss should know better.

      Are you disappointed by me, are you mad at me when I say I doubt it a bit and it’s hard to take such an offer? Please don´t be bad with me, it´s just…strange.

      Of course I am neither offended nor upset. I am just like you in that respect. I would be a hypocrite to hold it against you. Nevertheless, I am sincere in my offer. You should open yourself up only when you feel that it is necessary, safe, and comfortable. Confiding in others and accepting their comfort should only come when you feel you want it, and on your terms alone. Though let me say that you will never get on the nerves of those who care about you.

      Hmm no scars anymore…of course a marble statue has something very adorable about it but a life without scars…scars can be so beautiful and say much about a person.

      They are a roadmap of experience and unlock secrets, each one. I love scars. I love to trace them and ask their story. I find they make a person no less beautiful to me.

      Fascinating. And that over 2000 years. So feelings are stronger than everything. Or do you think you would remember them so well just with your brain?

      Both, I should think. I remember them because we experienced so much together, and despite miles and years were linked to one another. Coming home was always something I looked forward to, and my siblings treated me as if no time had passed. I remember them in my brain and with my heart.

      Hmm, how can you stand the loss, the loss of so many you loved ones?

      I endure it by never forgetting what we shared, and by filling the void with new mortals to love and cherish and make memories with.

      Always such a gentleman. I wonder what I must do to get some rage or at least fire in you- However, good to know, so I can continue drawing.

      Believe me, it is best that you never see me angry.

      Ah and of course, because we all here are vamp fans, I´m sure there are many mortals out there who would love to have a vamp in their bed or be hunted by a vamp. At least in the fantasy, I dunno if they would enjoy it if it would really happen. Depends on the person and the vamp I guess. What do you think?

      I cannot imagine a vampire fan entirely disliking fear. It seems a bit of a contradiction to hate fear, but love monsters. I think for many the fear is part of the overall excitement. And yes, there are quite colourful fantasies, and men and women who would give over their lives to us. This is deep passion, but I have no taste for it. I do not want anyone’s life. Though there are many who would readily accept the offer.

      http://www.gizmoitsolutions.com/laertis/details.php?image_id=312

      A gift from you to a vampire? My goodness, that vampire must have stirred quite some feeling inside of you that you should dedicate something so vividly passionate. And very lovely. Passion is so beautiful and intense, and expression palpable. You have my compliments over your work, but most of all the words.

      1. Ok I’ve done this post without any help and I hope it is understandable. Tell my if not my dear mentor! >.<

        It depends on the type of dancing. I quite like ballroom dancing.

        Ah I love to dance the Viennese waltz. Even though I have not danced it for a long time. My favourite song for the waltz is Hijo de la luna , that song makes me shiver. No Joke. You would feel my body trembling. Monserrat Caballé and Sumi Jo are the best singers for that song, in my opinion.

        Internet friends are as real and valuable as “real life” friends, and I feel just as real, too. The internet makes it easier to connect with people who are like minded, and miles are gaps easily bridged. The world is smaller.

        Real and valuable as “real life” friends, indeed. But any I-net friend need a long time to get my trust. Simply because I can´t check him/she so good out as I can in real life. I think when somebody likes me he/she will have patience. But of course there are always exceptions. Michelle for example, after 1 month I met her on SR we met in RL. Normally I would never do that, but my feeling says: “She is a good girl, there is no danger, you can trust her, have fun.” 🙂 And so it was. Even her family likes me, and I love them too.

        Though having someone around in person is a necessary comfort, I think.

        Absolutely!!

        But of course, and as well you should be. Armand inspires such wonderful loyalty in others, and devotion need be consistent or else it is worth nothing. I need only one person on my side, which I have, and always will. The whole world could be against me but her and I would be satisfied.

        I´m a loyalty person anyway. 😀
        Awww thats so wonderful!!

        Always hard to impress and not at all charmed by superficiality. I have always demanded that there be substance. There are many ways for men to be, and women, and we each dictate our expectations and what it is we like. Any woman who is not charmed by an educated gentleman is not the sort of woman I would want to make intimate company with, because only a true lady can appreciate a true gentleman. It is like fine wine. Only a certain sort of person can truly appreciate and savour the flavour of an expensive wine, and it requires a refined palette, whereas mostly anyone can appreciate and enjoy cola. They are not mutually exclusive by any means, but not everyone has the taste for finer things.

        And right you are!

        Does the man you would like to have as a lover to be a gentleman? Or is it ok when he is a bit like a madcap?

        His intentions were well meant, but it seems there was a general East versus West culture clash going on. He was behaving as a Japanese man should to women, and you were judging him by your own Western standards. As the gentleman in the company of women, I think he should have deferred to your custom as patriarchy is rather smothering and a gentleman should acknowledge a woman for being independent and intelligent.

        I have no problem when a Japanese man act in his way as long the man shouldn´t get drunk and touch my best friend…that was then the biggest problem…not only the food. However, it was still an interesting experience, we have learned much on that evening and it was not everything bad.

        Let me take a guess. Could it be Santino and Armand?

        Ok Armand is no surprise, but why do you think its Santino? Because Im a big fan of him? There is Lestat, for example, as well.

        I had a fleeting relationship with a woman who did hair and make up professionally, so it was inevitable through listening and observing her that I learned methods. I would love to watch her put on make up. There was something so sensual about the slow gliding of hands and brushes, and the way she transformed herself. Of course, she was just as lovely absent of all make up and without perfect hair, but I did love watching her work.

        I wonder if you could make a miracle with my hair. I would like to have this hairstyle: ^^

        http://www.haarigeseite.de/hs/hist/hist_gr2.jpg

        I am certain you would easily dismiss my advice,

        Easily? I’m not saying that it wouldn´t be easy, but what makes you think it would be easy for me?

        though I hope some suggestions may influence.

        Hmm even I don´t like to admit it, but I guess… maybe… you could have some influence…but just maybe.

        A very lovely selection, and yes with boots. I quite like boots myself. They make for a lovely image.

        Thank you, and yes, boots are great. Hmm one day I will draw the vampire Marius with hot stuff boots. What do you think? 😀

        It is satisfying, though it does not make me feel powerful or superior. It makes me feel calmer and better, and with the hope that I may never suffer the same frustration at the hands of the same person again.

        Extremely interesting. Thank you for the explanation. You are indeed a teacher, you can explain everything so well. But it is a terrible thought to see a suffering vampire Marius. 🙁 Should someone be mean to you I will bite him. * growl* Ja, ja, I know you don´t need that…but I can´t help, when someone I treasure is suffering, I am suffer with him/her. So I hope you forgive my emotions.

        But there is a different form of intimidation that comes in an intimate setting. Certain types of women like to be intimidated and overpowered, and like that someone has power over them. This brings me immense pleasure to do, though I do it kindly and always with their pleasure in mind.

        Indeed, that is something quite different. I can imagine that this feeling of power is intoxicating. Although I have no experience in it. Of course, I can manipulate but that is something different.

        In my case, I´m more the submissive part in bed. But the man must be damn good that I allow him that. Ha. To be dominated in other situations of life is not really my cup of tea. *grins

        There are always those special few who can undo us all. Even I have those one or two who can make something inside of me flutter wonderfully. I wouldn’t call myself blushing or nervous by any means, as these are things women experience, but I do get that light feeling in my stomach once in a while.

        Ah our Marius get that light feeling in the stomach. That makes you feel very alive, right? Can you tell me of a moment where you had this feeling?

        Umm…between you and me…a blushing Marius would be adorable cute XDD (Now I would pay a lot to see your face. lol)

        I will keep my fingers firmly crossed for you. I have quite a few friends who work in museums, and overall they seem to feel that their bosses are stupid and inept. So you are a bit more fortunate than most that your boss is usually nice and also an historian. Most museum bosses get their qualifications in the subject of “public history,” which is different from the history that I specialise in. I think a good historian should be a mixture of both. Here’s to another great boss for you.

        Thank you very much! I hope it will be a nice and fair one.

        How do you begin your first teaching hour when you have a new class?

        Ah I would love to have you as my future boss. XDD You are definitely competent and fair. We could have interesting conversations and share opinions face to face. You could teach me so very much and I would show you city ​​Archives and our museum. I would tell you to all paintings a story XD My musuem is really beautiful.

        How terrible, though, that you have to be objectified even in a professional environment. Your boss should know better.

        It is disgusting indeed, but what should I do? He leave in 9 month anyway, so I will survive it. ^^ Perhaps you know the movie “Madagascar” The Penguins always say: Smiling and waving, sailors , smiling and waving. I do that 😀 And play the tough girl with humor and coolness and trying to escape when he is pushy. 😛

        They are a roadmap of experience and unlock secrets, each one. I love scars. I love to trace them and ask their story. I find they make a person no less beautiful to me.

        Indeed, I cant add more.

        Both, I should think. I remember them because we experienced so much together, and despite miles and years were linked to one another. Coming home was always something I looked forward to, and my siblings treated me as if no time had passed. I remember them in my brain and with my heart.

        That sounds wonderful Marius. Had your siblings and you favorite places in Rome?

        I endure it by never forgetting what we shared, and by filling the void with new mortals to love and cherish and make memories with.

        Sounds not bad but I wonder why it makes me sad.

        Believe me, it is best that you never see me angry.

        Oh don´t say such things my dear, that could turns me on…you know that is this fear thing 😉 besides, haven’t you told me I would be save on your side????? 😀 Have I catch you?

        I cannot imagine a vampire fan entirely disliking fear. It seems a bit of a contradiction to hate fear, but love monsters. I think for many the fear is part of the overall excitement. And yes, there are quite colourful fantasies, and men and women who would give over their lives to us. This is deep passion, but I have no taste for it. I do not want anyone’s life. Though there are many who would readily accept the offer.

        Yes, guess you right. 🙂
        Make some fantasies you smile or give you a little shock?

        I like your attitude. It’s different from the others.

        A gift from you to a vampire? My goodness, that vampire must have stirred quite some feeling inside of you that you should dedicate something so vividly passionate. And very lovely. Passion is so beautiful and intense, and expression palpable. You have my compliments over your work, but most of all the words.

        Oh there is not only one vampire who give me that feeling, *rawr* but back then it fits to that vampire.

        It is lovely right? I knew you would understand it. 🙂 You put it in the right words.
        Don´t give me all credit. I found this pic and give it to him. However, the words are really perfect.

        Of course I am neither offended nor upset. I am just like you in that respect. I would be a hypocrite to hold it against you. Nevertheless, I am sincere in my offer. You should open yourself up only when you feel that it is necessary, safe, and comfortable. Confiding in others and accepting their comfort should only come when you feel you want it, and on your terms alone. Though let me say that you will never get on the nerves of those who care about you.

        Thank you for your understanding. I was worried that you are mad with me. I´m really not used to it and it makes me a bit confused. But…it touch me, which means…now, in this moment… you would not just see a smile, but also some tears.

        Guess I´m sometimes a bit moody. Well actually , everything depends on my mood, right now, no Idea why, I´m in a melancholic mood. Sitting here in my black, velvet dress and listen to “Oh Verona” and “Oh fortuna.” Surely you know the songs.
        And yes, perhaps someday, in a private space, I will talk to you, will hear your opinion, thoughts and so on. Thank you my friend, for your nice words and your offer. And now I should go to bed. Hmn, how would you wish a “good night” in Latin ?

        1. Ah I love to dance the Viennese waltz. Even though I have not danced it for a long time. My favourite song for the waltz is Hijo de la luna , that song makes me shiver. No Joke. You would feel my body trembling. Monserrat Caballé and Sumi Jo are the best singers for that song, in my opinion.

          That is a lovely song to dance to, and lovely to listen to. It is a shame that young men and women are no longer taught to properly dance.

          Real and valuable as “real life” friends, indeed. But any I-net friend need a long time to get my trust. Simply because I can´t check him/she so good out as I can in real life. I think when somebody likes me he/she will have patience. But of course there are always exceptions. Michelle for example, after 1 month I met her on SR we met in RL. Normally I would never do that, but my feeling says: “She is a good girl, there is no danger, you can trust her, have fun.” And so it was. Even her family likes me, and I love them too.

          Sometimes we simply know when we meet someone that they will become very special to us. Sometimes to pieces come together with seamless fluidity, as it was with you and Michelle. Other times, it is fraught with trouble because people are in vastly different places but crave increased closeness. Not only in distance but in lifestyle.

          Does the man you would like to have as a lover to be a gentleman? Or is it ok when he is a bit like a madcap?

          My taste in men is a bit different from my taste in women. I tend to prefer “older” women, usually around 35. Young women are pleasant, but it is hard to find a young woman who is as intelligent, and aware of her wants and needs, as a woman who has had experience in life. That’s not to say I do not like younger women, but I have had too many bad experiences with young women and it has jaded me to a great degree.

          But I like men to be young. Slim and tall, though not without muscular definition. I cannot tell you how much I love a man with a firm, slim body. It just begs to be touched as much as the soft curves of a woman. I like my men’s skin as I like my women’s skin: pale and taken care of. Just the same, I also like men who have dark hair. Mid to late 20s is preferred. I want him coy and willing. I do have a certain weakness for mad, intelligent young men who wear glasses and are all lanky limb and awkward flirtation. I think it is very cute and innocent.

          Ok Armand is no surprise, but why do you think its Santino? Because Im a big fan of him? There is Lestat, for example, as well.

          I guessed because Santino is very clearly special to you, and you prefer him greatly.

          I wonder if you could make a miracle with my hair. I would like to have this hairstyle: ^^

          http://www.haarigeseite.de/hs/hist/hist_gr2.jpg

          What a delightfully Roman hairstyle.

          Easily? I’m not saying that it wouldn´t be easy, but what makes you think it would be easy for me?

          Merely because you seem to be the type who needs no influence from others to be certain of your needs and wants. I assure you, that is a compliment.

          Thank you, and yes, boots are great. Hmm one day I will draw the vampire Marius with hot stuff boots. What do you think?

          Merciless, that is what I think. No one would want to see me in that sort of wear, certainly least of all me.

          In my case, I´m more the submissive part in bed. But the man must be damn good that I allow him that. Ha. To be dominated in other situations of life is not really my cup of tea. *grins

          It is not my cup of tea, either, so I certainly respect your point of view. That makes it all the more delightful when we find someone we are willing to give ourselves over to.

          Ah our Marius get that light feeling in the stomach. That makes you feel very alive, right? Can you tell me of a moment where you had this feeling?

          Let me see… I will dig a bit in the past to think of one since I do not want to give any “present” examples. My partner may find it a bit mortifying to have our private experiences so very public. Quite shy, and easily embarassed, which though I usually enjoy, I also respect.

          I get in strange moments. More rare as time goes on. They all seem to fragmented and insignificant in memory, but at the time erupted like an explosion in me.

          I went to a bar. Or more specifically, a nightclub that caters to the social needs of men who like other men, and I sat at the bar waiting for a friend who I had agreed to go there to collect. I wasn’t there to find men, or to enjoy the atmosphere, but only to protect a senseless friend of mine and see him safely home. As I waited for him to finish his drink, I saw a man come in. He walked in and I was watching him, which he noted and stated back. And as he stared directly back at me, he removed his scarf from his neck and undid the top button of his shirt, and I have to admit that it made something in my stomach flutter.

          But then I shook it off and got my friend home safely.

          How do you begin your first teaching hour when you have a new class?

          I introduce myself to my students and tell them a bit about me so that they are not so intimidated. Then I go over in brief what the theme of the course is and what I expect from them in terms of work and rules. This ensures that we are all on the same page, and also so that they can choose early if they wish to remain in my class or not.

          That sounds wonderful Marius. Had your siblings and you favorite places in Rome?

          We all found our favourite place to be the garden in our home. It was full of wonderfully lovely trees and flowers, beautiful statues and fountains. It was almost like a maze, and I remember as children we would chase each other through it or hide and try to catch one another.

          Oh don´t say such things my dear, that could turns me on…you know that is this fear thing besides, haven’t you told me I would be save on your side????? Have I catch you?

          I would never harm you, but it brings out a side of me that needs to be satisfied.

          Hmn, how would you wish a “good night” in Latin ?

          You would say to me, “Vale.” Because we would have wished each other goodbye rather than good night, which was more our custom. If you want to say good night, however, you can translate both words as, “bona nox” because “nox” is feminine 3rd declension, and so the adjective has to agree, thus “bona.”

  5. That is a lovely song to dance to, and lovely to listen to. It is a shame that young men and women are no longer taught to properly dance.

    Indeed and that´s the reason that I haven´t danced this kind of dance for a long time. I would need a least 15 -30 min to dance it perfectly again. Unfortunately there are no occasions on which I could dance a Viennese waltz again. *sigh

    Sometimes we simply know when we meet someone that they will become very special to us. Sometimes to pieces come together with seamless fluidity, as it was with you and Michelle. Other times, it is fraught with trouble because people are in vastly different places but crave increased closeness. Not only in distance but in lifestyle.

    Besides you, Armand , Pandora and -forgive me- Santino ^^ , there aren’t many in who’s company I felt well right away. Lestat is cool but he confused me with his volatiliy in the beginning. If the language of conversation had been German that would not have been a problem, but in this case… Who else managed to draw me to them quickly was Danny. He was cool, funny and down-to-earth.

    However, there are only a few vampires whom I would allow a little more closeness. You managed that to a certain degree in a relatively short time. It must have to do with your mentor aura. This and the fact that you have certain ways which remind me of Armand, You know that he is my weak spot. Both of you have a calm character. In contrast to myself who sometimes is very quirky and lively. You definitely are experienced, analytical, deep, wise and sneaky. Furthermore both of you possess a heart of gold ( even of Armand would never admit it). Of course that’s not the only thing your hearts are made of but it’s there in sufficient quantity.

    Correct, Michelle and I have noticed that sometimes we are quite different from our dear SR friends who live in USA or UK. Vincent, however, who comes from Spain is more “similar” to us. It’s the same with Suzi who comes from Italy. One example is the topic “Sex”. Once I asked Suzi “Do you think we are too naughty?” She said just “Pff nonsense, you are normal. Naughty are the Italians! And some who make even me blush are the French.” I was relieved to hear that. Lol.

    My taste in men is a bit different from my taste in women. I tend to prefer “older” women, usually around 35. Young women are pleasant, but it is hard to find a young woman who is as intelligent, and aware of her wants and needs, as a woman who has had experience in life. That’s not to say I do not like younger women, but I have had too many bad experiences with young women and it has jaded me to a great degree.
    But I like men to be young. Slim and tall, though not without muscular definition. I cannot tell you how much I love a man with a firm, slim body. It just begs to be touched as much as the soft curves of a woman. I like my men’s skin as I like my women’s skin: pale and taken care of. Just the same, I also like men who have dark hair. Mid to late 20s is preferred. I want him coy and willing. I do have a certain weakness for mad, intelligent young men who wear glasses and are all lanky limb and awkward flirtation. I think it is very cute and innocent.

    Hihi. I obviously shocked you in concerns of my age. Yes, a little life experience is important for me as well. I don’t want a pretty boy whom I have to teach everything.
    As I mentioned I prefer older boyfriends. He shouldn’t be willing and coy either ;). You know my taste of men.
    Did you have men which were not willing and coy? I’m not talking about Armand but other lovers.

    I guessed because Santino is very clearly special to you, and you prefer him greatly.

    Well you know most of my favorite vamps. One is called Marius. I don´t know if you know him. In this day and age we would say, he is really “mega cool and clever”. But yes. You are right, it´s Santi for many reasons. (hey you haven’t been there and were busy XDDD ). Besides I’m still trying to coax him out of his shell and to drive him crazy. I’m unable to explain why but it would enjoy that immensly.

    What a delightfully Roman hairstyle.

    Jaaaaa, isn´t it? So I hope you’ll manage to do that. But one little change will be necessary. I have a long fringe and two strands of hair on the left and the right side which are always falling in my face. That’s typical for me and besides I don’t like it when my face is completely free.

    Merely because you seem to be the type who needs no influence from others to be certain of your needs and wants.

    I must admit, yes, the most of the time I know my needs and wants .
    But there are situations in which I need more than only advice. It’s very, very rare but sometimes I have to force myself to my own happiness. But that’s confidential, ok?

    I assure you, that is a compliment.

    Even though you are interested in another type of women in this concern. Well, that’s really a great compliment, thank you. YAY XD

    Merciless, that is what I think. No one would want to see me in that sort of wear, certainly least of all me.

    Apart for some exceptions I’m not very merciless. But since you like me being so I’ll do you this favour and be merciless. Muwahaha. Once a vampire told me: “You often interpret things in that suits you best.” Ah but not in that case, right? 😀

    It is not my cup of tea, either, so I certainly respect your point of view. That makes it all the more delightful when we find someone we are willing to give ourselves over to.

    To defeat the powerful Marius the hard or the soft way would be quite appealing.

    Quite shy, and easily embarassed, which though I usually enjoy, I also respect.

    XDDDDD That´s really cute!

    What are you thinking of that would make me be embarrassed? Except from my confusion when someone calls me “educated”.

    I get in strange moments. More rare as time goes on. They all seem to fragmented and insignificant in memory, but at the time erupted like an explosion in me.
    I went to a bar. Or more specifically, a nightclub that caters to the social needs of men who like other men, and I sat at the bar waiting for a friend who I had agreed to go there to collect. I wasn’t there to find men, or to enjoy the atmosphere, but only to protect a senseless friend of mine and see him safely home. As I waited for him to finish his drink, I saw a man come in. He walked in and I was watching him, which he noted and stated back. And as he stared directly back at me, he removed his scarf from his neck and undid the top button of his shirt, and I have to admit that it made something in my stomach flutter.
    But then I shook it off and got my friend home safely.

    Wow that sounds really cool!
    You shook it off? Especially with a person who caused you such kinds of feelings? Why did you hold back?

    I introduce myself to my students and tell them a bit about me so that they are not so intimidated. Then I go over in brief what the theme of the course is and what I expect from them in terms of work and rules. This ensures that we are all on the same page, and also so that they can choose early if they wish to remain in my class or not.

    There are always “classroom clowns” disturbing the lessons. How are you dealing with them? And what are your general rules?

    What topic are you dealing with in your lessons at the moment?

    We all found our favourite place to be the garden in our home. It was full of wonderfully lovely trees and flowers, beautiful statues and fountains. It was almost like a maze, and I remember as children we would chase each other through it or hide and try to catch one another.

    I love statues, if I could I would have plenty of them. Many angels of course but some Roman or Egyptian statues too. Anubis and Bastet would be my favourites for the Egyptian figures.

    I would never harm you, but it brings out a side of me that needs to be satisfied.

    *rawr * I know this feeling, even if it’s the opposite of yours. Talking about fear… when this side of yours needs to be satisfied…how do you instil fear in others? And how would you make me fear you?

    1. Indeed and that´s the reason that I haven´t danced this kind of dance for a long time. I would need a least 15 -30 min to dance it perfectly again. Unfortunately there are no occasions on which I could dance a Viennese waltz again. *sigh

      You are a member of a Rococo dance group, yes? Is there no dance group out there near to you that may do other periods of dance?

      You managed that to a certain degree in a relatively short time. It must have to do with your mentor aura. This and the fact that you have certain ways which remind me of Armand, You know that he is my weak spot. Both of you have a calm character. In contrast to myself who sometimes is very quirky and lively. You definitely are experienced, analytical, deep, wise and sneaky. Furthermore both of you possess a heart of gold ( even of Armand would never admit it). Of course that’s not the only thing your hearts are made of but it’s there in sufficient quantity.

      Well fortunate for me. I always try to put people at ease. To invite conversation, and perhaps friendship. I wish that others could be so readily at ease with me. My reputation makes me intimidating.

      Sneaky, you say? Surely you cannot mean me.

      Hihi. I obviously shocked you in concerns of my age. Yes, a little life experience is important for me as well. I don’t want a pretty boy whom I have to teach everything.

      It was a pleasant surprise, I assure you.

      Did you have men which were not willing and coy? I’m not talking about Armand but other lovers.

      You know, as they say: you cannot take the Rome out of a Roman. Despite my years, my experience, and my relatively seamless modernity, there is still much about me that is entirely Roman. I think one of those things is how I prefer men, since my preference for men developed when I was a young boy, and so cultural expectations and norms shaped them and therefore me. It was only acceptable for a man to desire younger men, and to never be a passive partner. So I favour men who are young and who are passive.

      Besides I’m still trying to coax him out of his shell and to drive him crazy. I’m unable to explain why but it would enjoy that immensly.

      You see, it isn’t a shell. Santino truly is that much of a narcissistic malcontent. He really is that socially awkward, that developmentally stunted, that emotionally repressed.

      What are you thinking of that would make me be embarrassed? Except from my confusion when someone calls me “educated”.

      I wonder. I will have to get to know you better to know what embarrass you. Learning a person from the inside out is a process. Slowly, as you come to know a person through casual conversation, they begin to unfold. Until finally, without having to resort to tricks, you can read their every thought, desire, and dislike. I promise you, I am very good at this. And I need no vampire powers. But you see, I do not reveal what I know and think until I am confident that I am entirely correct.

      You shook it off? Especially with a person who caused you such kinds of feelings? Why did you hold back?

      Because my heart belongs to someone, and so I seek no superficial passion.

      There are always “classroom clowns” disturbing the lessons. How are you dealing with them? And what are your general rules?

      It is a university, so fortunately I do not have to regulate behaviour as one must with children. I simply tell them to stop or get out. Though I do have general rules: don’t text on your phone when I am lecturing, do not hold private conversations while I am lecturing, and do not cheat.

      What topic are you dealing with in your lessons at the moment?

      We just finished my favourite of lessons: Did Rome fall or did she transform? To which we must give an answer of, “yes.” Then explain how Rome both fell and transformed at the same time.

      *rawr * I know this feeling, even if it’s the opposite of yours. Talking about fear… when this side of yours needs to be satisfied…how do you instil fear in others? And how would you make me fear you?

      I have quite a serious face, quite a mean look. I am also tall, and so I can intimidate by my size. My voice is also deep, and can be loud and demanding. And let us not forget that I am strong. When I want someone to fear me, truly fear me, it is not something to take lightly. I am more than “talk.” Because I do not have to move from my chair, or even so much as move a finger, to kill or harm another. It is this fact, this strength of me, that makes others fear me.

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