Past · Question

The Avicus Mystery

My lovely Tanaquil asked me a question about Avicus, and I decided to make my answer something a bit more public. People are always very curious about him because Mael spoke of him little, and no one else truly knew him save myself. He deserves to be know.

Avicus is one I didn’t fully notice until reading “Blood and Gold” for a second time. But then he stepped out of the pages all the more clearly and left a deep impression. Your words about him match this impression.
Why do you think he stayed with Mael for such a long time? Would you have even considered talking to Mael if it would not have been for Avicus?

Avicus was tender. All of his years suffering under the ground, locked away, a God, changed this about him very little. On one hand, I think he loved Mael because Mael was his child, and we do always love our children so deeply no matter who they are or what they become. Mael needed him because Mael was, as a young vampire, very angry and thoughtless. He would rush into anything without a thought toward self-preservation or common sense. All Mael had was anger and annoyance and pride, and it certainly would have destroyed him early had he not had Avicus there to stop him. We want our children to come to no pain, and when they do the pain we feel is without measure or end.

They were polar opposites. Avicus was calm and considerate and quiet. Though he was not of any great formal education, and therefore had much to learn, he had a great mind and a love of knowledge. Avicus was considerate and made no move without first thinking it through. He was so old and so strong, but so gentle and boyish, and so innocent. Innocent is a strange word to use for a vampire. Rather, to be used to describe their nature, not how they look. Armand can be described as “innocent,” but this is a superficial label that applies only to the mask he wears on the outside. Avicus truly was innocent inside, and it was heartbreaking to watch the world destroy any of it.

His innocence calmed all of the fire inside of Mael. Avicus had some unspoken gift to put out and put a stop to Mael’s anger and insolence. When it came to Avicus, Mael had no pride, but that was not a bad thing. Without Avicus, Mael would have done something stupid and destroyed himself, so naturally Avicus would stay by his side to protect him from himself.

And there much to be said about how frightening loneliness can be. I am certain Avicus had more than enough loneliness in his years to last his eternity. Mael was his companion. They had a purpose, yes, to find me and to find Akasha, but the purpose was only the catalyst to their union, and though it bound them together it was not what ultimately kept them to each other. They loved each other, they were maker and child, lovers.

I would have killed Mael the moment I saw him had Avicus not been there to stop me. I suppose he had a calming effect on the both of us, and he had me thrown completely. I felt like two people, one of them wishing to rip Mael’s head off, almost blind. The other confused and dazed by Avicus’s presence, pulling itself out of me. Yes, had Avicus not been there, I would have ripped Mael’s head off, encased it in bronze, and set it in my study to marvel at. I hated him as I have never hated anyone. And, for a while, only endured Mael in my life in order to keep Avicus.

4 thoughts on “The Avicus Mystery

  1. Thank you for giving such a detailed reply to my question. I always wondered about this rather special relationship between Mael and his maker. Your relation with Mael is a very special one of course, but even if we let this aside, I suppose he’s not a “people person”. To me it seems as if he’s unable to mask his feelings and Avicus provided the patience to tolerate this trait of his. I guess Avicus didn’t have any expectations in this concern because he had not had a chance to interact with people a lot.
    I like the woods and I like trees but being locked up in one for years and years that’s not a desirable fate at all. That’s an experience that changes even an otherwise unchangeable vampire.

    Innocent is a very good expression if you don’t look at its meaning “free of sins” but rather at its origin “ignoscere”. He’s one un-knowing, open minded and curious because his head isn’t stuffed with expectations, ideals, dogmas or morals.

    Well, Mael did indeed loose his head, if only temporarily, although you could restrain the urge to turn him into decoration.
    I made a little cartoon about Avicus, Mael and you:

    1. Mael wasn’t much of a person, let alone a people’s person. He was always unfathomably bothered over every little thing. Once he got over his petty jealousy that Avicus preferred me, which was not so, we go along much better. Meaning he didn’t annoy as much anymore.

      I put up with Mael for a long time solely because I wanted Avicus in my life. I think a part of me truly loved Avicus, and I saw in him what I could have become and I was horrified at how he had suffered yet expressed such easy resiliency. To be, innocence is a delicate and fragile purity, with or without sin, because really can any of us be blamed for what we are? To me, his being a vampire tainted his innocence none.

      I love your drawing. More importantly, that is about the way it went and the look on my face. And I am certain I muttered those words time and time again. I will favourite your drawing because it amuses me so very much.

      1. What changed in Mael that you could stand him a little better? or was it simply that you had gotten used to him?
        The way you’re talking about Avicus he really must be someone worth to know. Innocence has a positive sound to most people I think but what is the diffference between innocence and naïvety?
        *grins* That’s nice.

        1. I think I got to understand Mael a bit more, and when we were working toward the same goal he was a considerably loyal ally. I also think I might have civilized the barbarian just a little bit.

          Innocent is purity and sweetness, and naivety is something someone should have long grown out of or should know better than.

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