I would think vampires would have a hard time “mating” with mortals, which is why I can see why you limit the touching and fondling to mouths and hands alone. To think of a male vampire actually entering a mortal male or female would lead me to think of bloody tearing and damaging the human body, considering our bodies are soft and tender in comparison to those of a vampire.
As a female vampire ages, her flesh becomes more like hardened marble. I understand this from the outside looking into the pages that vampires have written about their bodies. The vampires of the Millennia such as yourself and Pandora. I’m not saying she would do this, but if she decided to have sex with a mortal man, wouldn’t his phallic member break off or be damaged in some way if he tried to enter her as he would a mortal woman? Or are the inside places of a vampires intimate zones still soft and pliable, so to speak?
Let me preface by saying that I do hope that everyone will forgive me my blunt language. I am direct and frank, and I do not shy away from words that may make other people blush. I do not use certain words to be rude or crude, but to be direct and honest.
Now to the point.
You are too right to think that physical relations between a mortal and male immortal can be quite uncomfortable. Though there is no tearing or damage done unless that is the intent, which surprisingly sometimes is the case.
We can be gentle and very careful in how we touch humans. It is the reason why I am able to hug a human and not crush their chest cavity, or kiss a human without breaking their jaw, or even grab their hand without snapping every tiny delicate bone under my fingers. I am strong, and I know this, and so I know how to approach a human physically with a gentle and considerate touch. In a sexual act, unlike a human male driven by his own lust or his physical need to achieve sexual pleasure, I am able to keep my head about me and never lose myself in the act itself.
But I do not like it greatly. It just seems all rather pointless. Useless. I get nothing out of it, but more to the point, I find that hands and mouth are far more creative, and I get almost as much physical pleasure from my finger as I would my own penis. We do not orgasm, that is true, and it would probably be a very horrible thing if we did because I imagine the sudden appearance of blood would be startling.
What people do not consider is that our nerves are intact, all of them. Being immortal has not reduced the amount of nerves I have in my finger tips and body, but in fact only increased how sensitive I am to touch. Pinch my nipples and I will react with the same arousal and excitement as any human man because those nerves are still present, and still very important to my own sexual desires. No blood rushes to my penis to make it erect, but my heart beat quickens, my skin prickles, my stomach flutters and fills with delicious heat. There are still nerves in my penis, and it still feels very nice to have it touched because those nerves still respond, though not to the extent of actual erection and orgasm. We are not numb below the waist, we just are not capable of biological reproduction and its necessary processes.
A male orgasm, as pleasant as it is no matter its intended purpose, serves the primary function of reproduction. Because our nature of reproduction is a bit different, our bodies do not need the former ways and methods of its human form, and so we lose them.
In any case, I can keep myself at a distance and limit touching. It also avoids the expectation that I remove my clothing. At my age, blood does not go a very long way. A vampire such as Louis, even Lestat, can drink and their body will be fairly slow to process the blood, so they are able to remain human in tone and temperature for a considerable amount of time. Sadly, this is no longer my good fortune, not at my age. My body very quickly, as you could say, drinks the blood. Even if I were to drain a human dry, which I do not, I would only have an hour at most before my body would be its original ice cold and stony temperature. Anyway, were I full of blood, I doubt I could even fully achieve a true human body temperature.
As for female vampires, they are a bit more tricky. As even human females are physically. Everything with a man is so very cut and dry, but women are each individual works of art and tender instruments that need to be played just right, and no two are alike.
Certain parts of the body are made of mucous membranes. Vampires have these. We have eyes that appear moist and do not turn to stone. Our tongues and mouths remain pliant and wet, not cold and hard (we wouldn’t be able to talk otherwise and wouldn’t this be a shame). We have lungs that push out cold breath even if oxygen is not vital to our survival. We have beating hearts made of plump, wet tissue. Even after so many thousands of years, Akasha had a heart that was just as moist and soft as a human heart.
The walls of a vagina are made of mucous membranes. Just as the eyes or tongue do not grow hard and stone-like, neither will the inside of a vampire woman. Is it cold? Frankly, yes. Unless she has fed and brought human temperature back to her body, because we are not alive. Human arousal of course causes the vaginal mucous membranes to secrete fluid that makes penetration easier, and this is done as a way of encouraging sexual activity and thus reproduction. Therefore, much like an erection is not possible for a vampire male, a vampire woman can not secrete these fluids because her body does not need to welcome reproduction of this type.
Just the same, her nerves remain in tact, and I dare say she would enjoy a sexual act more than a vampire man would because a male orgasm is necessary only for reproduction, but female orgasm is not a necessary component of the overall process. For reproduction to occur, a woman need not feel any pleasure, and certainly not orgasm. Therefore it is not as necessary for our vampire functions and needs to entirely destroy her ability as it does for us of the male persuasion. Can she have a full orgasm, though? Not quite. And there is a reason for this, I think.
Some doctors believe that a female orgasm plays an indirect roll in reproduction. For instance, when a female orgasms, the walls of the vagina begin a steady pattern of constriction and release that typically last for a few seconds, sometimes longer if the partner is very successful. Some say these vaginal spasms are to help push male semen deeper inside, and thus indirectly assists insemination. Others say the female orgasm assists reproduction simply because it makes a woman enjoy the act and want to do it more, but then this would be the same for men. I am inclined to believe that one of the two must be true. There has to be something about the female orgasm that still lends to the ultimate purpose of procreation, and this must be why a vampire woman cannot have a full orgasm. They certainly do feel pleasure, more so than any vampire man because the role of their orgasm is only secondary, but they will never reach the pinnacle of pleasure just the same because there is still some underlying purpose for it that the vampire body considers unnecessary.