What I find so interesting and beautiful about the relationship that yourself and Armand shared is how you gave him the blood in small doses when he was a mortal. You took from him, you punished him, but then you gave back in so many ways. It intrigues me how you introduced Armand to the dark trick in steps.
I have seen mortals go mad from the taste of just one drop of our blood, or from looking with even the briefest glance into our powerful and tantalizing world.
Armand did not, and so I knew he was made and meant for me.
As you may already know, I gave Armand my blood for the first time when he was very ill with a fever; it was not an intimate experience as would be the later transcendental experiences we would share as lovers. He left that very vague, speaking only of a hot drink and a fount that he knew well. That was me giving him my blood because I was about to lose him. I did not want to give this to him so soon, but I was helpless in the matter. Fortunately, he was largely unaware of what happened. By the time he recovered his senses, the blood had worked its magic and left him fully human.
There was no way I could know the full ramification of this most sacrificial gift until he was awoken. Would he awaken permanently altered? One half in darkness, initiated unwillingly. Alas and fortunately, no. He was the same beautiful boy full of passion, talent, and beauty, but no madness, no strange hunger. Just a human child.
Even given the frankly sinful nature of our later love, Armand was an innocent. Sadly, boys become men and they lose this innocence and give it over to heady and immediate pleasures. Our passions came to the predictable point during which Armand asked of me quite boldly why we never have mortal sexual intercourse. What should I have said? I am incapable but I want to? In honesty, I felt ashamed and hungry. I did not want him to think that I did not desire him in order to hide the secret of my beastly nature.
So, I had to let Armand know the roots of my unique and savage desire, to which he submitted most eagerly. Too eagerly. I was delighted but also bothered by the ease with which he accepted me for the beast that I am. Once I had revealed to Armand my nature and hunger, there was no going back for us. He would either die or have to be made– no normal life could await him.
I had held out some naive hope that I could send him off and he could be rich and happy, married with a home full of children. The moment I sank my teeth into him and drunk, this could never be. When I gave him my blood after that, we had but one course to follow together. I suppose I could have wiped his memory clean as I so often do now, but that was a price my soul could not bear. It is one thing to wipe your memory from the mind of a stranger, but another thing entirely if this person is someone you love with all of your heart and want to remember you always.
Naturally, Armand was a spoiled boy so he begged and pouted to be made early on, but he was never driven mad by what he experienced in my blood. This is truly a rare thing indeed.